Mistress Ariachne's BDSM Workshop: Using Gags

Although most novices consider a blindfold to be one of the most restrictive, scary items of bondage, many experienced players know that the bondage item that requires the most trust between top and bottom is the gag. A gag prevents the bottom from communicating verbally, whether to ask the top for a particular sensation or to use a safeword. This restriction can heighten the level of play and make a scene hotter--provided both bottom and top understand how to play while a gag is used.

----Types of gags----

The most commonly used gag in the fetish world is a rubber ball gag, usually made of black, red, or pink latex. The soft latex ball is held in place with leather, rubber, or cloth straps tied at the back of the bottom's head. Ball gags have a great visual effect--reminiscent of a trussed pig complete with apple in the mouth--and are usually quite safe.

Variations on ball gags include a variety of penis-shaped devices, ranging from short mouth plugs to close-to-full-length dildos. These latex devices sometimes reach inside the mouth, giving the bottom something to bite on. They're also effective as humiliation tools.

While you can use bound cloth as a gag, I recommend that you try to acquire a ball or penis latex gag. Cloth can absorb the bottom's saliva, dehydrating them and the danger of choking is higher.

Many hoods include a gag of some kind, or act as a gag by nature of their tightness and lack of mouth opening. Some hoods and gags include a kind of straw through the gag, letting the top force the bottom to imbibe liquids, including urine or other bodily secretions.

----Safe playing with gags----

Gags present an unusual danger in that they prevent the bottom from communicating verbally with the top (this cutoff of communication is, of course, the whole point of using gags). It can therefore be tricky to run a safe scene while the bottom is gagged.

The most important limitation is that a safeword or signal for "stop" should always be agreed upon in any bondage scene. For a gagged bottom, this signal must become a nonverbal action. For instance, I often give my bottom something to hold (a dildo works nicely) and instruct him or her to drop it if they want the scene to stop. Shaking one's head or grunting three times are also reasonable safeword substitutes.

It's harder, however, to communicate nonverbally about the more subtle nuances of play, when the bottom wants more, or wants it lighter, or wants a different sensation. While much of this can still be accomplished between a top and bottom who have played together often and can read each other's nonverbal cues, in many other cases the bottom must simply submit completely to whatever the top decides is right (short of using the safeword gesture to end the scene completely). Of course, a good top should always pay attention to the bottom's nonverbal messages of fear, anxiety, and pain, but both top and bottom should realize before starting gag play that the gag brings in a higher level of control on the top's part.

----Hot gag scenes----

Because they are simple to use and not very dangerous in themselves, gags can be used in a wide range of scenes, from simple tying-up during sex to elaborate, costumed role-playing scenes. Here are a few examples of scenes where gags can add a lot to the intensity:

Kidnapping Scene: What could be hotter than a kidnapped bottom, hog-tied, blindfolded and gagged, totally at the mercy of the top who takes his or her time in explaining all the tortures that await. The kidnapper (top) may want to remove the gag just long enough to permit the bottom to give the top oral sex, but replace it quickly thereafter.

Smart-Ass Masochist Training: Most of us have run into (or have been) a Smart-Ass Masochist--SAM--at one point in our play. These pushy, smug bottoms require extra emotional and physical muscle to subdue. They often "top from the bottom," practically ordering the top to inflict this or that sensation a particular way. One effective way of curtailing the SAM from taking over the scene is to introduce a gag to the play. At that point, the top takes true control--except for ending the scene with the safe gesture, which isn't what the SAM really wants. Gagged play is especially effective in eliminating whining, cajoling and complaining on the SAM's part.

"Isolation Tank" Play: For a scene that pushes the edge, consider using a gag in conjunction with a blindfold and earplugs to cut off all your bottom's connections to the world. This can be done just with a blindfold and earplugs, of course, but adding a gag makes any interaction impossible (except that all-important "stop" gesture). Your bottom will be completely dependent on you for sensation, and all communication will take place via touch, not sight or sound. This is a heavy-duty mind trip that should best be enacted between a top and bottom with a high level of trust and experience.