Dear Dom: Tickle Hospital

Dear Mistress Naia: My subbie-girl is the most ticklish person I know... and though it’s something I never considered a fetish before, I’m finding that I really get off when I tickle her. Is this weird? Why do I like it so much?

As you may have picked-up already-particularly if you’ve spent any time getting to know the community here on Bondage.com-there are really very few things that we in the BDSM lifestyle consider to be "weird." At least, those in this lifestyle who are truly open minded and knowledgeable about the vast array of kinks out there could not possibly begin to judge you on what you find sexy (within obvious hard limits, of course). If someone does judge your kink, they’re not worth listening to. It doesn’t matter who considers your turn-on a fetish or not. If you enjoy it, roll with it!

Even given that sense of acceptance and open mindedness... out of all the kinks you could possibly feel self conscious about, tickling need not be one of them. It’s quite a common pastime, actually, and can be considered kinky, erotic, and sensual both by those who practice BDSM as well as those in the mainstream. Similar to a quick smack on the rear or nasty name calling, tickling can often be a bridge between the vanilla and kinky worlds-practiced by "non-kinky" folks who want to add a little "spice" to their sex life, as well as by raging perverts (like me) who enjoy the power exchange aspect of tormenting someone by any means. (And torture that is met with gasping breaths of laughter and giggling really can’t be beat.)

Regardless of what you particularly like about tickling, my general rule still applies: If it turns you on, makes you happy, makes you feel good, gives you pleasure... you should do it more often. As long as you’ve got a consensual partner who enjoys exploring with you, you’re all set. Keep running on "hot" until your motor gives out.

With tickling, of course, the matter of "enjoyment" or "consent" on the part of the tickle-ee can be tricky-I’ve not heard many people being tickled who didn’t include some form of "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!" in their reaction. (And that can be the best part!) But as long as you follow all the usual guidelines for communication, boundaries, safewords, etc., she can beg, plead, demand, scream, and complain all she wants. If she’s your subbie-girl and you like tickling her... well it’s just a big "Ha-Ha" Laugh Riot for her until you’re satisfied.

Feathers, fingers, fabrics... Tongues, tongs, tassels... Be as creative with your implement of tickling as possible. You’re only limited by your imagination.

Between the toes, behind the knees, down the back... Below the navel, under the chin, behind the ears... there’s really no place on the body that’s innately immune to tickling. Some people claim not to be ticklish at all... but I say, "Oh, please," to that one. That’s usually just a cover up. Many people have T-spots where their highest levels of ticklishness live... and others are ticklish everywhere.

Oh stop please... I’ll do anything... Ha-ha... Hee-hee... Snort! Stop it right this instant! It can sound like many things, depending on who’s on the other end of the feather. Many people find tickling to be more than just a physical pastime. It can also be appealing from an auditory standpoint. If you get pleasure from making your subbie create loud and exotic noises, tickling is definitely the way to go.

Well before I discovered BDSM I was well aware of the torment I could cause by tackling my EXTRAORDINARILY ticklish sibling and tickling until the laughter escalated. It was called "Tickle Hospital" then, and the term remains one of my favorites.

Now, in my D/s life, Tickle Hospital is where all those poor, "sick" little subbie girls and boys must go for their "treatment." You may call me Dr. Please-Stop, MDT (Doctor of Medicinal Tickling).

Be good.

-Naia

Dear BaadMaster: My subbie-girl is the most ticklish person I know... and though it’s something I never considered a fetish before, I’m finding that I really get off when I tickle her. Is this weird? Why do I like it so much?

As Mistress Naia stated, nothing is weird around here. So, that answers the "is this weird" part of your question. In the vanilla world, "erotic tickling" is quite popular. With its vanilla roots, is it a fetish? I guess that depends on what the meaning of "is" is. (I finally got to work that Clintonism into a Dear Dom column, Yea team!) Fetish or not, weird or not weird, tickling works great in our lifestyle - especially in your case.

As I have stated many times, one should always try to match protocols in D/s relationships. A high-protocol Master should look for a high-protocol slave. Similarly, a Dom/me who enjoys tickling should look for a submissive who is ticklish. You might not have searched for such a match, it might be luck that brought her to you, but you found it. Consider yourself very fortunate. After all, what is a tickler without a tickle-ee?

As to the question of why you like it so much, the "Cracker Jack Principle" applies. If you examine a Cracker Jack box (if there are still any boxes of the stuff available; they are now mostly in bags), its slogan reads, "You like it, it likes you!" Similarly, having, the "most ticklish person you know" as your sub is a "you like it, it likes you" type of situation. It is one thing to do a scene and have the submissive go through the motions in order to please the Dominant. It is quite another thing when the submissive truly enjoys what the Dominant is doing. This creates a loop that channels positive energy back to both participants. In your case, tickling fits into this synergistic model. (BaadMaster and the big words!)

It is easy to introduce tickling into just about any BDSM scene. Tickling your subbie can be every bit as effective as flogging or caning her. Or, instead of a straight tickling scene, alternate between flogging and tickling; this will add a new dimension to your play. If you are using hot wax, tickle the submissive in between drippings and you will raise the sensation bar considerably. Tickling a blindfolded sub is always fun. If you are into role-play, tickling is yet another technique to add to your arsenal. In an interrogation scenario, for example, tickle the submissive instead of beating her. You might be surprised how quickly your submissive gives up the information!

A "tickle-torture" scene can be as edgy as any. A feather duster can be just as wicked as a crop; a makeup brush can be just as painful as a paddle; a silk cloth can be every bit as sadistic as a cane. One word of caution - just because tickling doesn’t leave marks or entail great physical risk, one should not forget to take standard precautions. Make sure you have a safe word; be aware of the mental state of the submissive during play. (If your extremely ticklish subbie is in the throws of a serious tickling session, he/she might not be able to utter the safe word - or even give a safe signal. Always keep an eye on her - or have a hard time limit.)

You can also invent new ways to use tickling in your BDSM play. Combining tickling and TENS unit play can create an innovative scene. Alternating tickling and sensory deprivation is yet another unique concept. Mixing blade play and tickling can be hot. Tickling, like ketchup, goes with just about anything. The only limit, besides the hard ones, is your imagination.

Since you have the ideal "tickle-sub," all you have to do, in the words of the Nike commercial, is "Just do it!"

Play safe, play hard.

BaadMaster