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I posted an ad on Craig’s List on both the t4m and the t4t pages. I got several replies for meetings but what got my attention was some of the negative e-mails I got, calling me a filthy pig and another offering to cut my nuts out. My first question was, why are they even looking at the ads under this category if that’s the way they think. But what really got my attention was a mail from a girl I’ll call Vicky (not her real name). She told me that she was a pre-op M2F transgender. Who was lonely and getting cabin fever and had very few friends here because she had just gotten here from another state. We made plans to meet that night, so I rushed around and made the 30 minute drive to see her. When I knocked on her door I was met by a very pretty petite lady who at 39 was 30 years younger than me. She was wearing a very short miniskirt which got my attention. After a little discussion we decided to go back to my place and pick up something for dinner on the way.

I put on some porn and we proceeded to have a couple of slices of pizza. As we watched the movie we got closer together on the sofa and as I turned to face her she lifted her face toward me and we kissed. It was one of the hottest, most sensual thing that I have ever experienced. After a few minutes we started talking about our lives. I found out that she was married but recently divorced. When she came out to her wife, well the wife went ballistic and she had to leave home. She had a very good job making enough to pay for her Dr. visits and hormones, she had been through all the counseling and had made the legal change so that she was legally a female. This is where it all fell apart.
All was going well until her ex-wife decided to call all Vickie’s friends and tell them all about it. She then called some of the people that she worked with and got them all stirred up against her. Vickie received all sorts of threats and decided that she had to quit her job and get away from there. She had family here in Arkansas so she decided to come here. On the way her mother called and said that she heard that Vicky was coming back home and if she was that she was not to come to her house under any circumstance. In the meantime her car engine blew up about 900 miles from here and left her stranded. She managed to get within about 300 miles of here and called her sister who came to pick her up but told her that she could only stay with her for a couple of months. At the end of that time she was told that she had to leave immediately. In addition to all this, being without a job she cannot afford to continue her HRT and is becoming emotionally distraught now.

Luckily she had gotten acquainted with another transitioning girl online who took her in, which is where I went to see her. We talked at length about how the people in the LGBT community are treated and the taunts and beatings etc. that they have to endure. Some of the things are just pure horror stories. People just don’t understand that they are not doing this by choice but there is an overwhelming need to be physically the same gender that they are mentally. I mentally compared it to the civil rights struggle of the ‘50’s and ‘60’s. I was there and remember vividly the times the black community went through. I read someplace that the suicide rate among TG’s is approx. 40 percent and can now understand why. They are not even protected by hate crime laws in Arkansas. To have all your friends and even your own family turn against you is just more than I can imagine.
Eventually it will come out that I cross-dress and am bisexual, when it does I know that I have three sisters that I can count on and one that may accept it. However my brother will go ballistic, I know because he kicked his own out the day he turned 18 because he came out of the closet and told his parents that he was gay.

Anyway I have decided that more people need so support the LGBT community so I am going to quit avoiding the rainbow parades and rallies in my area, I am going to begin writing my legislators for more LGBT rights. We are all part of the human race, why can’t we treat everyone like they actually belong on this earth. I know that if given the choice that most of the TG’s would not choose to live the life they have with all the taunt’s and beatings and abandonment that they endure but they have no choice, the decision is not theirs to make, It was made for them genetically at conception. Some endure their entire life and never make the move to change and just exist miserably until they pass away or take their own life. Others like Vicky choose to be who they are supposed to be and have to live with the consequences, hopefully finding a loving and caring person who will love them for who they are.
Okay I got that out of my system. I don’t expect to see any great changes overnight but maybe some of the things we do now can help the next generation because as long as this earth rotates around the sun the need will always be there.

Thanks for reading, your comments are welcome, as far as hate mail, well if it makes you feel better send it because “sticks and stones”, well you know the rest. Let’s do what we can while we can.

Sadly, Vickies story is not all that uncommon. We can be as open and supportive as possible and that will help. The best thing is to be able to befriend someone who needs it. Many times it is as simple as having a safe place to live. A haven from the world where you can recover yourself. It takes a long time to get the hang of things and be able to fit in to the point of being accepted by others. They have to believe in you. And that means having time to learn what you need to in order to be a woman. During that time, friendships and support are critical. Do what you can for those who need it. Real time in your face caring for another human being.

The marches and letter writing are important but the front line work is where you can make the most difference.
Keep the faith.

Satin