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| intlieosk | Posted: 2008-08-28 23:04 | |
| Forum Regular Belarus 629 Posts | You could always freeze the sperm? and have it around, just in case the mind possibly changes. But I'd say otherwise go for it, just make sure you are 100 percent, don't end up regretting it. | |
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| wanderingcelt | Posted: 2008-08-28 23:56 | |
Forum Apprentice United States 385 Posts | The purpose of a vasectomy is to provide reliable, effectively permanent birth control. If you're not having sex, birth control is not a significant practical issue. I don't see how how you could call a vasectomy "indicated". You should avoid unnecessary surgery. Unless you're into it. It sounds like one of the factors leading you to consider a vasectomy is your mother's unhelpful hinting about wanting more grandchildren. I would suggest that her behavior will not be any more pleasant after a vasectomy. She is not acting rationally as it is; your vasectomy won't change that. You are free not to have children even if you don't get a vasectomy. She really can't make you have kids. But it sounds like she can make you miserable. I'd suggest you have some frank conversations about this with someone. Your mother, a therapist or both; that would be my pick. But pretty much anyone would be a good start. I've been blessed with a mother who has occasionally made her desire for grand kids known, but has had the good taste never to push it. I have provided her with none, so it's nice that she's kept out of my hair. I'm sorry your experience has been different. Your mother is going to be around for a while. Better you delay the vasectomy and address your relationship with her. You can always do it later, and I don't think it will relieve your pain. | |
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| venusinchains | Posted: 2008-08-29 00:32 | |
| Forum Newbie United States 90 Posts | A friend of mine without offspring (is offspring an AUP violation? I think not!) had a vasectomy. I asked him the question about the "right woman" and his answer was, "If she's the right woman for me, she won't want any children!" Would anyone really suggest you have a child just to please the "right woman"? That seems like a terrible reason to bring a child into the world. If you have only been thinking about it for two months, you might set a time limit, perhaps a year or so, and follow through if you haven't changed your mind by that time. | |
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| destinynh | Posted: 2008-08-29 00:32 | |
Forum Slut United States 1,415 Posts | i am just wondering when was the last time you were with children for a length of time? Actually got to get to know them and get a chuckle about how they think. i think you said "the more I watch my siblings- especially my father's son" Do you mean your brother? Just that statement alone tells me your reasoning behind wanting to have a vasectomy is focused on your past family relationships, and may not be what you actually want. There are other less invasive ways to ensure you dont have any children for a few years, if down the road you still feel the same way then go for it and have it done. And there are always children who need to be adopted too. i just dont think at your age, and basing it on your relationship with your father is reason enough, you could end up being the most wonderful father to someone down the road. i would specifically go to a therapist with this topic, and your reasons for wanting to have it done before any call to a doctor to schedule it. 2 months isnt a long time to spend on thinking about a major decission like this. Especially thinking about it alone. Trust is feeling totally safe and secure while knowing you're totally vulnerable | |
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| FUH-Q | Posted: 2008-08-29 01:53 | |
Forum Regular United States 682 Posts | Pussy... if you're gonna do it, then do it right. Get yourself a dull, rusty knife and just wack the fucker off! 
The battle between the sexes can never be won... there's too much flirting going on with the enemy. | |
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| SirBring | Posted: 2008-08-29 04:48 | |
| Forum Regular United States 925 Posts | destinynh: i am just wondering when was the last time you were with children for a length of time? Actually got to get to know them and get a chuckle about how they think. i think you said "the more I watch my siblings- especially my father's son" Do you mean your brother? Just that statement alone tells me your reasoning behind wanting to have a vasectomy is focused on your past family relationships, and may not be what you actually want. I have a nephew that is now five that I'm around pretty regularly. Up until I moved recently I saw him almost daily. When I say "father's son" I don't mean brother. My father re-married, I don't think of him as a brother or consider him family. There are other less invasive ways to ensure you dont have any children for a few years, if down the road you still feel the same way then go for it and have it done. What kind of ways? The only way I know would be condoms. | |
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| sweetsubmissivelove | Posted: 2008-08-29 05:18 | |
Forum Slut United States 1,060 Posts | i agree with Nashville Dom. Google 'male birth control'...there is something new out there. The right woman, may have you wanting children...and there is nothing on earth like one that is yours, no matter what you think of someone else's, good or bad. i must congratulate you on at least thinking about this subject, so many just let things happen without much thought. You mentioned watching Father/son relationships in your family...and each one is different, and it takes a great deal of effort on parents' to raise a child well, but for the most part children turn out just fine, even when we don't know all the answers - and we don't. There could be more here at work (family dynamics) than meets the eye, i would urge caution. i intended to have NO children, did not want any because i thought they were all brats, and too much trouble to deal with, would interfer in 'my life', but, they are the best thing on earth...and it is really cool when they grow up and they decide you aren't such a bad guy after all. i do think you should wait...if for no other reason that you have questions. Best wishes, arianna -- "Love her madly... .........everything she does is magic." | |
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| clampsandwax | Posted: 2008-08-29 08:02 | |
Forum Maniac United States 3,327 Posts | I might not call this advice, but my plan is to have 2 kids, then get the vasectomy so I can fuck without worry of propagation, or paternity...I might advise you to wait as long as you can, maybe 5 years, then if you feel the same way do it to it.. -- Fortune favors the bold. | |
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| sparkle_BGD333 | Posted: 2008-08-29 10:06 | |
Forum Slut Spain 1,605 Posts | Even tho I also don't want children I would also err on the side of caution and say wait. Before Master I did always think I would want kids....but growing older, and getting more set in my ways, having no patience whatsoever (and enjoying my lifestyle thank you very much) and now having had an operation which means I would be unable to carry a child, meant that the decision was made. He had a vasectomy about 2 yrs ago now. If anything your relationship with your father may mean you'd be a far better father than you'd imagine, compensating for your past. ut what if you met Miss Perfect, and she did want children.... if you are in any doubt at all, then waiting would be the best decision IMO. Sparkle ..... sub to Master Talisman (BGD333) | |
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| subbie_kittie | Posted: 2008-08-29 12:10 | |
Forum Initiate United States 19 Posts | I am 22 and I decided logically a long time ago not to reproduce. My brothers have three wonderful children whom I adore, but I don't want that responsibility myself. I just don't think I would make a good parent though I make a wonderful aunt! My mother went through a time where she was very upset with me for my decision, but we had a long talk about why I didn't want any and what my goals for my life were. I still haven't had any surgery or anything because I'm still so young, but I use all necessary precautions and then some. I say it is your choice and you really just need to sit down with yourself and really find out what is behind your choice. If you are having doubts you need to address why you are having doubts and really think it out. Give it time and don't pressure yourself. Then when you come to a final decision, if you still decide you don't want to reproduce, sit down with your mother and tell her why. It'll be hard for her, but she will understand that you thought long and hard and will (hopefully) respect your carefully thought out decision. Good luck to you and I hope you are happy with whatever choice you make in the end. Just remember that all people are different, some people are born to be parents and others simply are not! That doesn't make us evil or mean we hate kids or mean that we can never have a family. Two people and a couple of pets would be a family for me! | |
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| _Fire_ | Posted: 2008-08-29 13:16 | |
| Forum Maniac United Kingdom 7,028 Posts | I'd echo what others have said. Imagine you meet a life-changing partner and change your mind. It isn't the kind of decision you'd want to regret isit? Use other methods of birth control and wait a few years, if you still feel the same then perhaps you'll feel more inclined to take that step.
Fuck for the environment ...FuckForForest.com "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." Solomon Short. | |
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| hellagood | Posted: 2008-08-29 14:16 | |
Forum Maniac United States 2,551 Posts | so by advice you mean talk you into or out of having it done??? If you are thinking THAT HARD and are that undecided then it's not about the vasectomy because the decision doesn't HAVE TO get made and carried through today either. -- | |
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| SirBring | Posted: 2008-08-29 14:17 | |
| Forum Regular United States 925 Posts | hellagood: so by advice you mean talk you into or out of having it done??? More like interested in other's thoughts and experiences. | |
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| sweetblossom | Posted: 2008-08-29 16:05 | |
Forum Apprentice New Zealand 112 Posts | Just a thought here.. There is a very good reason why most drs wont perform these permanant procedures on those who are on the young side and without children already. Experience tells them a LOT of them change their mind later on. That being said you may be convinced you will not change your mind. If so then why be in such a hurry to get it done now. Just be careful, use protection when you need to and maybe see a therapist to help you discover your basis to have the Vasectomy. Cause to be honest it sounds a lot more like you have some parental issues that are fueling your desire to get a vasectomy more than anything else. good luck. I may be a bitch but I am not your bitch. Know the difference | |
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| Lacuna72 | Posted: 2008-08-29 16:27 | |
Forum Initiate United States 3 Posts | I had a tubal ligation at 21. I had one child - the one I wanted - and I knew I didn't want more children. It's been 15 years, and I can honestly say that I have no regrets whatsoever. If you *know* you don't want children, there is nothing wrong with having a vasectomy. My ex just had a vasectomy, and he doesn't have any children of his own. He also does not have any regrets. Good luck with your decision. Don't feel bad if you don't want children - whatever the reasons are. They are YOUR reasons. Lacuna. | |
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