Bondage Forums

Strange idea...the notion that our parents don't know anything about sex and things sexual. This all reminds me of 8 year olds and elephant jokes. They come home from school with this GREAT JOKE that NO ONE has ever heard before. And in reality, the joke's been around since before their grandparents were 8.

My parents "talk dirty" to each other all the time. When the grandchildren are around, they do that in code, but it's always there.

Last year I convinced my mother to go to belly dancing lessons with me. She and I both loved them till they kept talking about a receital. We were only learning for our own enjoyment. We stopped going. However, when we WERE attending, I'd go to my folks' and my father would ferverently thank me for suggesting that she go. And he'd tell me she'd show him the new things she was learning every Tuesday evening after we got home from our lessons while he lay in bed and watched her. He called all his buddies and asked if their wives were still going to exercise classes. Then, with great joy in his voice, he boasted that HIS wife was taking belly dancing classes. His friends were jealous. *smile*

I was going out one evening and stopped by their house before I left. I was wearing a grey skirt and red high heels...My father's eyes glazed over as he saw the heels (his favorite color heels is red I found out) and he asked my mother to please wear hers that evening. I didn't even know my mother HAD a pair of heels, much less red ones. She just smiled, cupped the side of his cheek in her hand as she walked by and said "go take a nap dear, otherwise you'll be asleep by 8." He just got the strangest look on his face, stood up (No small thing for my father who is suffering from post-polio syndrome and can barely walk anymore) and told me "go home, go out, do whatever you are going to do, but don't do it here. BYE." and left the room to go take a nap.

Not everyone thinks that expressing themselves sexually is something that is a giant secret.

Our family's way of doing things continues.

My oldest is 20 years old. We have conversations on all subjects you can think of. He asks me about what he wants to know about. I answer him. He's not asking what *I* do, but about the subject. He's no fool. He knows that if I can answer him thoroughly, I probably know what I'm talking about through experience. We just don't have to talk about ME. The subjects include everything, including one day in the car, a conversation about fisting and why women find it interesting...and is it really possible to do that, and how in the world DO they do that? etc. I answered him.

My 11 year old just saw "the movie" at school. He came home with questions. Nothing quite like hearing your 11 year old say "Ok, I understand how guys masturbate, but mom, how do girls do that?"

I answered him. He asked if I did that. I told him that I didn't know ANYONE who has gone through puberty that probably doesn't masturbate, but that it's something that's done in private places.
He was a bit embarrassed but wanted to know. After his question, I could see he was still feeling awkward. I told him the only rules I had for him were "NO MOANING out loud, and get the sheets in the wash." He laughed and laughed and said "ok mom."

Then he asked if we could go for a bike ride when we got home from school. I tousseled his hair and said "sure."

My daughter, one day in the car tells me in her almost unintelligible words, "pank me mom" I thought she said "pick me"...so I said "ok, I pick you." She said "NOOO Pank me mom!!" I thought maybe she said "Poke me" so I poked her in the arm and said "Ok, poke poke poke. I poked you." She got exasperated. Said "MOMMM NO! PANK ME! IT FUN!!" (she said this while lifting a leg so that her butt kinda sorta faced me.) That's when I knew that she was saying "SPANK ME!" To say I was floored would be an understatement!! I told her "No, Moms don't spank their daughters honey. When you get older and get married, your husband can do that if you want him to. ok?" She said, very matter of factly. "Oh...Ok. Sorry mom." (she's 16 and has Down Syndrome, so it's often difficult to know what she's said.) But she does know what she likes. She's been creating situations for years to try to get me angry enough at her to spank her. It's always pissed her off when I've steadfastly refused. This was the first time though that she put the words "spank me" and "it's fun" together.

Kinda bothered me at first...then I realized, hey, that's what grey hairs are for and we moved on.

It's just a part of life. Who better to get the straight scoop on things like this than from someone who cares enough about them to care about the quality of information they get.

No one's inviting parents or otherwise in on what they do in the bedroom. They're just realizing all this stuff is just a part of life - even if it's uncomfortable to talk about.

Keep it information based and not experience based and that should be that.

Seriously Shifty, set the ground rules between your mom and you. Tell her straight out that you're uncomfortable talking about what YOU do but that you'll answer the questions she has about what SHE'S doing. Keep it informational, not experiential. When she asks why, just keep saying what you've been saying, along with the fact that you don't really know WHY you're wired like that, but you are and so are the women you're with, and evidently, so is your mother and move on.

Squicky or not, you'll be fine, and she'll be safe, and isn't that what it's really all about? And if you STILL can't do this for her, consider what it'd be like trying to talk to her if she was submissive! I'm betting that in comparison, this'll be a walk in the park

juliet

--
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Edited by - julietsierra on 2004-06-09 17:49:32

Edited by - julietsierra on 2004-06-09 17:52:16

I needed a smile tonight, thanks.
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Wench
Whip me, beat me, make me bleed, dirty sex is what I need
Living, Loving, Licking

The way I described sexual feelings to my teen daughter was by comparing them to food. Some people like vanilla ice cream, some like a different flavor each time, some only like the most intense chocolate available. I also said that some people like their food plain and others want the hottest salsa around on top. And that it didn't matter as long as you didn't force your taste on someone else. The mutually consensual part is a lot more important than the why part.

YMMV

Brandi
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***Accept the challenges so you may feel the exhillaration of Victory***-anonymous

***I'm an angel, I never said what kind!*** by: Me Queen of the Angels

THANK YOU
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Even in civilized mankind, faint traces of monogamous instinct can be perceived. Bertrand Russell
Giving government money and power is like giving car keys and whiskey to a teenage boy. PJ O'Rourke
I have more trouble with D.L. Moody than any man I know. D.L. Moody

Last time I talked to my mom (which is like once every few months) she blathered on and on about health problems. Then I mentioned the aniversery of my open heart sugery had recently passed and I'd gotten a "commemorative survival tattoo". She asked "where at" in a voice that sounded really sad and hung up shortly there after...

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In hell there would be no shame, as all stand naked in thier sins.