Bondage | High heels all day every day?

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Author	Topic
arayofsunshine	Posted: 2006-11-09 22:09
black swan United States 10,664 Posts	lulubel: For me the alarm bells are not about the shoes though they are about the absoluteness of his demand and the no negotiation aspect of something that he has clearly not thought through. Stupidity is so unattractive in a dominant. I completely agree. Strange assumption that because he desires something that many of the women who have posted here do not want then he must not be "real", he's all cyber and worthy of ridicule. Wonderfully invalidating of those who are different. Sometimes this place... -- Sunshine Daddy's owned HN. He's Pimping his ride . Seeing the goodness in someone does not imply ignoring their difficult qualities or unskilled actions. Rather, we can fully acknowledge these difficulties, while at the same time we choose to focus on the positive. If we focus on the negative we will naturally feel anger, resentment, or disappointment. If we focus on the positive, we will forge connection to the person. Sharon Salzberg

Chamvex	Posted: 2006-11-09 22:24
Forum Initiate - unknown - 2 Posts	I had to give a slight chuckle reading this. First of all anyone giving an ultimatum like that is someone to forget about and forget. Like has been said - wearing heels for long periods of time can be very bad for your physical health. Not as bad if you've managed to train your feet for wearing heels, but anything past 3.5" for most women will cause some bad damage if worn too long. Secondly, and the main reason for my chuckle, is that I find myself with the opposite problem. I've a fully heterosexual and very manly man... but I have a slight kink about being forced to do so thinks by my partners while wearing heels. Sadly most of my partners don't like the idea so I'm lucky to have that particular fetish met more than once a year or so. Lastly, if you find a guy that likes a woman in heels and understands what it means - he'll want to keep your feet as healthy as possible. This can be quite good for you, especially if its his main kink. Good high heel training would mean the guy is willing to buy a new pair of heels (with slightly higher heels normally) every two or three months for you. He'll be wanting to keep your feet good so foot rubs and other joys may come into play. Also someone that understand that fetish well will realize that the safest way to do it is in a way that has you standing up as little as possible... especially on truly high heels. So basic sum up: the ones that demand it and are an ass forget. The guys that bring it up, but are fine if you don't may be the keepers - especially if you love to buy new shoes.

andie2	Posted: 2006-11-09 22:40
Forum Maniac United Kingdom 3,461 Posts	I would run a mile from a guy l who demanded that... so better make sure you've got your trainers on. andie

AvecEsprit	Posted: 2006-11-09 22:42
Forum Apprentice United States 204 Posts	While they are attractive, they are in THIS man's mind, obviously meant for short periods. It is much the same with makeup. Women who wear makeup should do so in order to accentuate their excellence for a moment, for an appearance, but NOT 24/7 to "fool" people, particularly their spouse. This is an absurd request. It is fine for play, not for reality. This guy needs to get a grip, plain and simple. What a dork. - Avec Esprit (Check out the dictionary definition of "dork" as it pertains to whales...)

andie2	Posted: 2006-11-09 22:53
Forum Maniac United Kingdom 3,461 Posts	arayofsunshine: I completely agree. Strange assumption that because he desires something that many of the women who have posted here do not want then he must not be "real", he's all cyber and worthy of ridicule. Wonderfully invalidating of those who are different. Sometimes this place... It's not becasue he desires something most of us don't want, it's because, as others have pointed out, he is so uncompromisng and unrealistic. andie

NovaDom_67	Posted: 2006-11-09 22:58
Forum Apprentice United States 393 Posts	Geez. I'm beginning to understand the rash of extremism that seems to be sweeping across the world. Sure, for most, a 24/7 high-heel mandate is not only impractical or impossible, but a deal breaker for many as well for as many reasons as there are subs who have an aversion to it. Where along the way, except for the apparent tendency toward hyperbole, did this suddenly become the equivalent of a 666 on the skull marking whoever this person may be as Satan's spawn and somehow deserving of nothing more than not only dismissal, but scorn and ridicule as well? Why does he not have the right to seek this out in a partner, and why is it that so many who can't accept his particular point of fancy leap to attempt to base their incompatibility upon some sort of character flaw or unreasonableness? Unreasonableness would be him denying his interest in this regard, entering a relationship and creating a position of control and imposing it upon someone after the fact. To be completely candid, though I find his particular requirement to be one that's bound to make finding a compatible partner dramatically more difficult, I find the "go nuclear" responses to him simply expressing that which may be most important to him to be the truly objectionable content in this thread thus far.

Gisella	Posted: 2006-11-09 23:47
lavuri in corsu 4,124 Posts	I wear high heels all day, every day and on my real live feet too, and have done so all my adult life. For me it's just one feminine aspect of the way I dress. But this is not about my feet or even yours possibly for that matter. Others have already said that the issue here is not really about the shoes but about making it such a deal breaker if you were not willing to comply. My first thought on this was, that maybe for him it is not about the shoes either but more a little test. Maybe he wanted to know whether you were willing to submit to something (seemingly small) that you felt uncomfortable about purely to please him. For all you know he may have had you barefoot when the time came but he still wanted to see what your reaction would be. Personally I would want to know a little more behind his motivations before dismissing him as a wannabe wanker. -- PB "In your submission to me you will find your freedom."MasterScecchi e fimmini, vastunati, cà aggrìzzanu. Sicilian Proverb

lulubel	Posted: 2006-11-09 23:55
colloqui troppo New Zealand 2,476 Posts	arayofsunshine: lulubel: For me the alarm bells are not about the shoes though they are about the absoluteness of his demand and the no negotiation aspect of something that he has clearly not thought through. Stupidity is so unattractive in a dominant. I completely agree. Strange assumption that because he desires something that many of the women who have posted here do not want then he must not be "real", he's all cyber and worthy of ridicule. Wonderfully invalidating of those who are different. Sometimes this place... -- Sunshine Daddy's owned HN. He's Pimping his ride . Seeing the goodness in someone does not imply ignoring their difficult qualities or unskilled actions. Rather, we can fully acknowledge these difficulties, while at the same time we choose to focus on the positive. If we focus on the negative we will naturally feel anger, resentment, or disappointment. If we focus on the positive, we will forge connection to the person. Sharon Salzberg Yes......but, more improtantly, can I come and check out your shoes when we travel to the US??????? -- lulu Will Work For Shoes

lulubel	Posted: 2006-11-09 23:58
colloqui troppo New Zealand 2,476 Posts	Chamvex: I know some domme's who have subs with foot / high heel fetishes. Those dommes have the BEST SHOES IN THE WORLD! It is sometimes enough shoe envy to tempt me to switch. -- lulu Will Work For Shoes

pwincess	Posted: 2006-11-10 00:03
Forum Maniac United States 13,067 Posts	Nova Dom, you have a point. Does the dominant in question deserve riducule for their kink? Yes, they have the right to their kink. I am willing to reserve ridicule if they demonstrate an understanding of the long term effects of wearing heals. The long term effects of wearing high heels include: Shortening of the calf muscle Redistribution of weight bearing areas on the knee Shortens the achilles tendon blisters corns hammer toes bunions side torque on the knee ankle damage In ability to avoid assault Hindering walking speed Permanent changes to metatarsals Back and hip adjustment issues neuromas If a dominant knows all of this and still insists on heels 24/7, they might be an edge player and not for everyone. If you are part of the safe, sane and consentual crowd then 24/7 heel wearing is hypocritical. -- ~molly~ Yay! I am a pumpkin and a weirdo! Sir says, "Enduring a situation in which the outcome is inevitably going to be suboptimal, given that you have other options, is insanity. Not success." FrankenTranny

SeductiveinRed	Posted: 2006-11-10 02:05
Wuzzles McNuzzles United States 2,675 Posts	I wore heels all day every day for about a year. Not because I had to but because they were really, really nice boots. I didn't really notice it so much as I got used to it quick I guess, but when I decided to start doing martial arts again and had to spend more time flat-footed it HURT. A LOT. Because wearing heels for extended periods of time shortens the tendons in the legs. Now, I'm a pretty flexible and fit 26 year old. I'd hate to imagine being someone over 40 who isn't nearly as active. As you get older, the muscles, tendons and joints just don't do so well anymore. You can also start actually losing muscle mass despite activity level as early as your 30s (depending on other lifestyle factors and genetics). The worst for me was after about a week of not wearing heels. My ankles were fine, but my knees were burning and making all sorts of weird noises. I have joint problems as part of my lupus as it is, and if I had realized wearing heels would have been so bad I probably would have passed on even buying the boots (but they were SOoOoOo awesome). Turns out certain types of arthritis actually twist up the bones and joints, and wearing heels too much can make this happen faster. Yeah. I wouldn't want to end up using a walker just because some guy thought a certain style of shoes was SO hot that they were part of his fantasy dress code. Maybe it was just his way of saying "What I really want is an 18 year old so that by the time she's all fucked up from this stuff I'll be dead or close enough to it to not care"? -- "My worst habit is forming opinions based around whether I think you're well enough informed or bright enough to figure out the premise yourself. if you're a retard who lives under a rhetorical rock and you say eggs is good, then I dont need to know what they are, I just know they are bad for me, and may give me cancer and death." ~ Heff

ROPENHIGHHEELS	Posted: 2006-11-10 02:12
Forum Apprentice United States 288 Posts	I'm all for having a sub wear heels all day every day but I do also realize that realistically that's not possible nor good for a womans foot. If I want a sub in heel "A LOT" then I do understand her feet must be healthy enough to do so. My answer would be making her wear different heels that range from lower heels to the extreme heels as well as giving her foot massages very often to make sure her feet are well taken care of and to show her how much I appreciate her for wearing them this much. What lady would turn down frequent foot massages???? Bottom line is...everything must be agreed upon but yes my sub will be in heels VERY often!! The size of the heel however...I'll decide on that. Maybe if she's a good girl I won't make her wear the really high ones for long periods of time but if she's bad...then her feet will go through a lot of suffering for me! -- This is my world....I only allow you to dwell in it! HA HA Don't like my attitude?? DEAL WITH IT! Ok, ok...so I'm a "little bit" sarcastic. If you don't like it...YOU got issues! LOL

pinkwind	Posted: 2006-11-10 04:24
Dun quhynging! United Kingdom 10,319 Posts	NovaDom_67, the prat in question can look for whoever he likes, but i replied to the OP in the hope that most prospective subs would see that, when engaging in serious discussion, he couldn't see beyond his fantasies and gave my opinion that a second glance would have been excessive. Anyone, no matter their proclivities or fetishes has got to have a grip on reality to be able to look after their own wellbeing, let alone the wellbeing of another human being. When someone exhibits traits that are accompanied by rabid red flag twitching what can a body do, when asked, but give honest opinion? Oh, yes i called the Dom a Prat withou capitalising...my bad! -- pink... Master Andy's emotion... From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs. Edited by - pinkwind on 2006-11-10 05:16:49

isa_MS	Posted: 2006-11-10 06:35
Forum Maniac United States 6,279 Posts	My first thought on this was, that maybe for him it is not about the shoes either but more a little test. Maybe he wanted to know whether you were willing to submit to something (seemingly small) that you felt uncomfortable about purely to please him. For all you know he may have had you barefoot when the time came but he still wanted to see what your reaction would be. You say "seemingly small", but demanding that an admittedly 54 year old woman wear high heels virtually 24/7 is NOT small. It shows an ignorance of what long-term wearing of high heels can do. Anyone who would agree to such a demand is basically putting her health at risk. Which also makes him dangerous. Both red flags to me. Especially if it was a "test". That kind of shit to me is worse than the shoes. Third red flag. I see the guy as someone who is all fantasy and little fact. If he does find someone who would put up with his crap, I hope she has good insurance and a damned good podiatrist. She'll need them. -- A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.~~~Ralph W. Emerson Always know where your towel is ~~~Ford Prefect

Choux-fleurs	Posted: 2006-11-10 06:52
Forum Slut United States 1,968 Posts	isa_MS: Especially if it was a "test". That kind of shit to me is worse than the shoes. I'm not into those little tests that some come up with either. I for one don't appreciate power-trip games BEFORE we're even a couple. Lots of women like them, they get all fuzzy inside to think they're doing something for this potential boyfriend, okay fine. A guy who wants me to "prove" something, and prove it with something unrealistic and foolish, is not my kind of guy. It's not really just about shoes, to me.

Author

Topic

arayofsunshine

Posted: 2006-11-09 22:09

black swan

United States
10,664 Posts

lulubel:
For me the alarm bells are not about the shoes though they are about the absoluteness of his demand and the no negotiation aspect of something that he has clearly not thought through. Stupidity is so unattractive in a dominant.

I completely agree. Strange assumption that because he desires something that many of the women who have posted here do not want then he must not be "real", he's all cyber and worthy of ridicule. Wonderfully invalidating of those who are different. Sometimes this place...
--
Sunshine
Daddy's owned HN. He's Pimping his ride _tongue .
Seeing the goodness in someone does not imply ignoring their difficult qualities or unskilled actions. Rather, we can fully acknowledge these difficulties, while at the same time we choose to focus on the positive. If we focus on the negative we will naturally feel anger, resentment, or disappointment. If we focus on the positive, we will forge connection to the person. Sharon Salzberg

Chamvex

Posted: 2006-11-09 22:24

Forum Initiate

- unknown -
2 Posts

I had to give a slight chuckle reading this.

First of all anyone giving an ultimatum like that is someone to forget about and forget. Like has been said - wearing heels for long periods of time can be very bad for your physical health. Not as bad if you've managed to train your feet for wearing heels, but anything past 3.5" for most women will cause some bad damage if worn too long.

Secondly, and the main reason for my chuckle, is that I find myself with the opposite problem. I've a fully heterosexual and very manly man... but I have a slight kink about being forced to do so thinks by my partners while wearing heels. Sadly most of my partners don't like the idea so I'm lucky to have that particular fetish met more than once a year or so.

Lastly, if you find a guy that likes a woman in heels and understands what it means - he'll want to keep your feet as healthy as possible. This can be quite good for you, especially if its his main kink. Good high heel training would mean the guy is willing to buy a new pair of heels (with slightly higher heels normally) every two or three months for you. He'll be wanting to keep your feet good so foot rubs and other joys may come into play. Also someone that understand that fetish well will realize that the safest way to do it is in a way that has you standing up as little as possible... especially on truly high heels.

So basic sum up: the ones that demand it and are an ass forget. The guys that bring it up, but are fine if you don't may be the keepers - especially if you love to buy new shoes. _wink

andie2

Posted: 2006-11-09 22:40

Forum Maniac

United Kingdom
3,461 Posts

I would run a mile from a guy l who demanded that... so better make sure you've got your trainers on. _big

andie

AvecEsprit

Posted: 2006-11-09 22:42

Forum Apprentice

United States
204 Posts

While they are attractive, they are in THIS man's mind, obviously meant for short periods. It is much the same with makeup. Women who wear makeup should do so in order to accentuate their excellence for a moment, for an appearance, but NOT 24/7 to "fool" people, particularly their spouse.

This is an absurd request. It is fine for play, not for reality. This guy needs to get a grip, plain and simple. What a dork.

- Avec Esprit

(Check out the dictionary definition of "dork" as it pertains to whales...)

andie2

Posted: 2006-11-09 22:53

Forum Maniac

United Kingdom
3,461 Posts

arayofsunshine:

It's not becasue he desires something most of us don't want, it's because, as others have pointed out, he is so uncompromisng and unrealistic.

andie

NovaDom_67

Posted: 2006-11-09 22:58

Forum Apprentice

United States
393 Posts

Geez. I'm beginning to understand the rash of extremism that seems to be sweeping across the world.

Sure, for most, a 24/7 high-heel mandate is not only impractical or impossible, but a deal breaker for many as well for as many reasons as there are subs who have an aversion to it.

Where along the way, except for the apparent tendency toward hyperbole, did this suddenly become the equivalent of a 666 on the skull marking whoever this person may be as Satan's spawn and somehow deserving of nothing more than not only dismissal, but scorn and ridicule as well?

Why does he not have the right to seek this out in a partner, and why is it that so many who can't accept his particular point of fancy leap to attempt to base their incompatibility upon some sort of character flaw or unreasonableness? Unreasonableness would be him denying his interest in this regard, entering a relationship and creating a position of control and imposing it upon someone after the fact.

To be completely candid, though I find his particular requirement to be one that's bound to make finding a compatible partner dramatically more difficult, I find the "go nuclear" responses to him simply expressing that which may be most important to him to be the truly objectionable content in this thread thus far.

Gisella

Posted: 2006-11-09 23:47

lavuri in corsu

4,124 Posts

I wear high heels all day, every day and on my real live feet too, and have done so all my adult life. For me it's just one feminine aspect of the way I dress. But this is not about my feet or even yours possibly for that matter.

Others have already said that the issue here is not really about the shoes but about making it such a deal breaker if you were not willing to comply.

My first thought on this was, that maybe for him it is not about the shoes either but more a little test. Maybe he wanted to know whether you were willing to submit to something (seemingly small) that you felt uncomfortable about purely to please him. For all you know he may have had you barefoot when the time came but he still wanted to see what your reaction would be.

Personally I would want to know a little more behind his motivations before dismissing him as a wannabe wanker.
--
PB

"In your submission to me you will find your freedom."MasterScecchi e fimmini, vastunati, cà aggrìzzanu.
Sicilian Proverb

lulubel

Posted: 2006-11-09 23:55

colloqui troppo

New Zealand
2,476 Posts

arayofsunshine:

Yes......but, more improtantly, can I come and check out your shoes when we travel to the US??????? _big
--
lulu

Will Work For Shoes

lulubel

Posted: 2006-11-09 23:58

colloqui troppo

New Zealand
2,476 Posts

Chamvex:

I know some domme's who have subs with foot / high heel fetishes. Those dommes have the BEST SHOES IN THE WORLD!

It is sometimes enough shoe envy to tempt me to switch.
--
lulu

Will Work For Shoes

pwincess

Posted: 2006-11-10 00:03

Forum Maniac

United States
13,067 Posts

Nova Dom, you have a point. Does the dominant in question deserve riducule for their kink? Yes, they have the right to their kink. I am willing to reserve ridicule if they demonstrate an understanding of the long term effects of wearing heals.

The long term effects of wearing high heels include:

Shortening of the calf muscle
Redistribution of weight bearing areas on the knee
Shortens the achilles tendon
blisters
corns
hammer toes
bunions
side torque on the knee
ankle damage
In ability to avoid assault
Hindering walking speed
Permanent changes to metatarsals
Back and hip adjustment issues
neuromas

If a dominant knows all of this and still insists on heels 24/7, they might be an edge player and not for everyone. If you are part of the safe, sane and consentual crowd then 24/7 heel wearing is hypocritical.
--
~molly~ Yay! I am a pumpkin and a weirdo!
Sir says, "Enduring a situation in which the outcome is inevitably going to be suboptimal, given that you have other options, is insanity. Not success."
FrankenTranny

SeductiveinRed

Posted: 2006-11-10 02:05

Wuzzles McNuzzles

United States
2,675 Posts

I wore heels all day every day for about a year. Not because I had to but because they were really, really nice boots. I didn't really notice it so much as I got used to it quick I guess, but when I decided to start doing martial arts again and had to spend more time flat-footed it HURT. A LOT. Because wearing heels for extended periods of time shortens the tendons in the legs.

Now, I'm a pretty flexible and fit 26 year old. I'd hate to imagine being someone over 40 who isn't nearly as active. As you get older, the muscles, tendons and joints just don't do so well anymore. You can also start actually losing muscle mass despite activity level as early as your 30s (depending on other lifestyle factors and genetics).

The worst for me was after about a week of not wearing heels. My ankles were fine, but my knees were burning and making all sorts of weird noises. I have joint problems as part of my lupus as it is, and if I had realized wearing heels would have been so bad I probably would have passed on even buying the boots (but they were SOoOoOo awesome). Turns out certain types of arthritis actually twist up the bones and joints, and wearing heels too much can make this happen faster.

Yeah. I wouldn't want to end up using a walker just because some guy thought a certain style of shoes was SO hot that they were part of his fantasy dress code. Maybe it was just his way of saying "What I really want is an 18 year old so that by the time she's all fucked up from this stuff I'll be dead or close enough to it to not care"?
--
"My worst habit is forming opinions based around whether I think you're well enough informed or bright enough to figure out the premise yourself. if you're a retard who lives under a rhetorical rock and you say eggs is good, then I dont need to know what they are, I just know they are bad for me, and may give me cancer and death." ~ Heff

ROPENHIGHHEELS

Posted: 2006-11-10 02:12

Forum Apprentice

United States
288 Posts

I'm all for having a sub wear heels all day every day but I do also realize that realistically that's not possible nor good for a womans foot. If I want a sub in heel "A LOT" then I do understand her feet must be healthy enough to do so. My answer would be making her wear different heels that range from lower heels to the extreme heels as well as giving her foot massages very often to make sure her feet are well taken care of and to show her how much I appreciate her for wearing them this much. What lady would turn down frequent foot massages???? Bottom line is...everything must be agreed upon but yes my sub will be in heels VERY often!! The size of the heel however...I'll decide on that. Maybe if she's a good girl I won't make her wear the really high ones for long periods of time but if she's bad...then her feet will go through a lot of suffering for me!

--
This is my world....I only allow you to dwell in it! HA HA

Don't like my attitude?? DEAL WITH IT!

Ok, ok...so I'm a "little bit" sarcastic. If you don't like it...YOU got issues! LOL

pinkwind

Posted: 2006-11-10 04:24

Dun quhynging!

United Kingdom
10,319 Posts

NovaDom_67, the prat in question can look for whoever he likes, but i replied to the OP in the hope that most prospective subs would see that, when engaging in serious discussion, he couldn't see beyond his fantasies and gave my opinion that a second glance would have been excessive.

Anyone, no matter their proclivities or fetishes has got to have a grip on reality to be able to look after their own wellbeing, let alone the wellbeing of another human being. When someone exhibits traits that are accompanied by rabid red flag twitching what can a body do, when asked, but give honest opinion?

Oh, yes i called the Dom a Prat withou capitalising...my bad!

--
pink...

Master Andy's emotion...

From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs.

Edited by - pinkwind on 2006-11-10 05:16:49

isa_MS

Posted: 2006-11-10 06:35

Forum Maniac

United States
6,279 Posts

You say "seemingly small", but demanding that an admittedly 54 year old woman wear high heels virtually 24/7 is NOT small. It shows an ignorance of what long-term wearing of high heels can do. Anyone who would agree to such a demand is basically putting her health at risk. Which also makes him dangerous. Both red flags to me.

Especially if it was a "test". That kind of shit to me is worse than the shoes. Third red flag.

I see the guy as someone who is all fantasy and little fact. If he does find someone who would put up with his crap, I hope she has good insurance and a damned good podiatrist. She'll need them.
--
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.~~~Ralph W. Emerson

Always know where your towel is ~~~Ford Prefect

Choux-fleurs

Posted: 2006-11-10 06:52

Forum Slut

United States
1,968 Posts

isa_MS:
Especially if it was a "test". That kind of shit to me is worse than the shoes.

I'm not into those little tests that some come up with either. I for one don't appreciate power-trip games BEFORE we're even a couple. Lots of women like them, they get all fuzzy inside to think they're doing something for this potential boyfriend, okay fine. A guy who wants me to "prove" something, and prove it with something unrealistic and foolish, is not my kind of guy.

It's not really just about shoes, to me.

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