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 All Forums BDSM Talk and Support BDSM Relationships Wrong to trick him? |  Login to Reply New Topic |  Printer Friendly |
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| BondageDesires | Posted: 2008-06-23 18:05 | |
Forum Apprentice United States 483 Posts | Silly Rabbit! -- Keep it real. | |
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| slowlane | Posted: 2008-06-23 19:00 | |
Forum Slut United States 1,185 Posts | Trickery works...If you have a naive person...if not, bring out the big guns and Shoot your wad while he scratches his head and wonders "what the hell just happened?" damn vanilla's -- Enjoy the play....Enjoy the day....onward, onward and Enjoy | |
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| BondageDesires | Posted: 2008-06-23 19:21 | |
Forum Apprentice United States 483 Posts | In all seriousness though, trickery isn't sexy. It might be for a second but it soon dissolves. Honesty is the sexiest anyone person can be, especially with another. Oh yeah, it also helps if they are honest back. Think of the possibilities! -- Keep it real. | |
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| FirestormBladewing | Posted: 2008-06-23 19:53 | |
Forum Initiate United States 31 Posts | I think if you've reached the point where you're asking this question, it's wrong for -you-. You're starting to question your ethics and motives, and you realize that you're trying to manipulate the situation in a way that is less than honest -- and at that point, you can't fall back on the "it's just innocent fun" ploy any more, because you know in your heart that it isn't true. What you need to do at this point is to come clean with your man. Gather together some good books like "The Loving Dominant" and "Different Loving", and talk with him about how much fun you have when he takes charge -- and then be willing to let him explore from there, as slowly as he needs to. Firestorm | |
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| Althara | Posted: 2008-06-23 21:31 | |
Forum Apprentice United States 176 Posts | fire6brand: Don't wrestle with him, dance with him. Teach him to dance with you. If you like him, give it time. Entice his aggressiveness. Feed him with your guiding sexual submissiveness. Tried cock worship? Try linking your fingers with his at the nape of your neck and begin gently pressing with him his cock into your throat. Gauge this, he should give you the signs, fuck him with your throat more aggressively... i.e., invoke drooling and gagging. I'm going to recommend the required non-waterproof mascara for this, but your probably already know that As hot as this is......Firestorm hit the nail on the head. | |
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| jewels20002 | Posted: 2008-06-23 21:51 | |
Forum Regular Canada 591 Posts | . Edited by - jewels20002 on 2009-01-04 19:22:49 | |
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| intlieosk | Posted: 2008-06-23 23:11 | |
| Forum Regular Belarus 629 Posts | If you've discussed it, and he has made no effort, or has absolutely no desire to participate. It is a possibility that he will never be interested, and tricking him will never turn him into the person that you want him to be. If being honest with a him and having him be unwilling to change or try something new is something he cannot do, maybe you need to consider whether or not he is worth it. To me I can accept a person who is honest with me about whether or not BDSM is something they enjoy. I however would have issues with someone unwilling to even attempt to try something that would please their partner. I think you aren't really manipulating him, but he might see it that way if he finds out... have you tried telling him or setting up a fantasy scenario in real life and getting him to participate? | |
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| wanderingcelt | Posted: 2008-06-23 23:54 | |
Forum Apprentice United States 377 Posts | Do you want the guy, or the kinky stuff? It's possible you can get both; but, know which you want more can focus your energies. If you want the kinky stuff more, don't lead the poor guy along. ... But I see that figuring that out is why you're here. Waffling is going to hurt him and your relationship. But a certain amount is inevitable. You can make it easier in the long run by working extra hard on understanding what's behind your desires. You've seen some advice about that here already. I'll bet you're hotness and sweetness itself. It must kill your lover not to be satisfying your every desire. I can't imagine he really wants anything more. Yet something holds him back. I'm projecting, of course. I've had lovers before I've felt unable to satisfy. It's a miserable feeling. And is he 51% of everything you ever wanted? Or are you totally mad about him, if only you could put aside your burning desires? Fulfillment for you is maybe just around the corner with some other guy. What holds you back? A little bit of playful trickery that leads to some experimentation can be good. But too much, too often will become a problem. Don't spend your energy trying to change him. There's a division between offering him opportunities and manipulating him. Try putting your energy in learning who he is. Eventually--and not by cross-examining him, either--you'll learn what holds him back. Perhaps you'll be able to show him a way clear, but don't count on it. Try putting your energy in being who you are. Do you want to be at his knee? Do you want to serve? Do it. Ask nothing of him for it. But observe and learn. Do you want him going medieval on your ass? I don't know how to get you there. I'd start with bondage, as an occasional spice. If he must change for you to stick with him, and if he isn't changing, you must leave. Or change. Or compromise. Or stall until it works out some other way. Or sabotage the relationship in some implausibly deniable way. Or get pregnant and divorce him in three years. Or discover a happy medium and live happily, happily ever after. There are all sorts of possibilities. Try reading stuff here. Learn what turns you on and off to imagine. Imagine whether it would work for real, rather than as a fantasy. Then, unlike me, write it all down here so we can all perv out on it. You'll get a bunch of responses and you can take whatever bad advice you feel like. (Actually, I've seen an admirable quantity of good advice on here. I wish some of it issued from my typing fingers. And I don't see any reason for us to need to agree on which is the good advice.) | |
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| fire6brand | Posted: 2008-06-23 23:57 | |
Forum Regular Bouvet Island 507 Posts | AnyaMalkavian: fire6brand: Don't wrestle with him, dance with him. Teach him to dance with you. If you like him, give it time. Entice his aggressiveness. Feed him with your guiding sexual submissiveness. Tried cock worship? Try linking your fingers with his at the nape of your neck and begin gently pressing with him his cock into your throat. Gauge this, he should give you the signs, fuck him with your throat more aggressively... i.e., invoke drooling and gagging. I'm going to recommend the required non-waterproof mascara for this, but your probably already know that As hot as this is......Firestorm hit the nail on the head. i love your eyeglass frames. very sexy. i want them.
i also think a subtle feeling out of someone's potential (not quite the word i'm looking for) is safer (less rejection/withdrawal due to feeling bad about what he/she's doing to partner) than going straight for the hitty stuff. hitting someone else can be really hard for people to feel good about, no matter how much the receiver apparently wants/loves/begs and in the OPs case provokes. most of us are trained from nearly day one to not hit, that stuff doesn't go away overnight. i agree with the other posters re/communication being key. and i agree with reading material also as parties involved will never have all of the answers. i think maybe those steps fall in somewhere in the middle, after feeling out if they're open to it and before begging for hitty play. that's my take, but i'm judicious like that. /late night, please pardon if reads as a ramble/
Object. Subject. Abject. Hole. | |
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| jonssnn | Posted: 2008-06-24 02:21 | |
Forum Newbie United States 87 Posts | Just a thought....since you're human like the rest of us and maybe communicating your desires is not as easily accompplished as it is for some.... if he likes to read, buy him a few very naughty BDSM and D/s books and then let his imagination run. Good luck, John | |
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| WeirdCat | Posted: 2008-06-24 15:18 | |
THE EMPRESS 5,370 Posts | FirestormBladewing: I think if you've reached the point where you're asking this question, it's wrong for -you-. You're starting to question your ethics and motives, and you realize that you're trying to manipulate the situation in a way that is less than honest -- and at that point, you can't fall back on the "it's just innocent fun" ploy any more, because you know in your heart that it isn't true. What you need to do at this point is to come clean with your man. Gather together some good books like "The Loving Dominant" and "Different Loving", and talk with him about how much fun you have when he takes charge -- and then be willing to let him explore from there, as slowly as he needs to. Firestorm To the OP. I would add to this just one thing: people DON'T change who they are deep down inside. Trying to change someone is something that doesn't work in the long run. People are who they are. And I think you know it by his own admission that he's not into BDSM. Any ethics considerations aside. Anna "La libertad es el derecho que tienen las personas de actuar libremente, pensar y hablar sin hipocresía." | |
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| orchidmask | Posted: 2008-06-25 04:14 | |
Forum Maniac United States 2,516 Posts | fire6brand: Don't wrestle with him, dance with him. Teach him to dance with you. If you like him, give it time. Entice his aggressiveness. Feed him with your guiding sexual submissiveness. Tried cock worship? Try linking your fingers with his at the nape of your neck and begin gently pressing with him his cock into your throat. Gauge this, he should give you the signs, fuck him with your throat more aggressively... i.e., invoke drooling and gagging. I'm going to recommend the required non-waterproof mascara for this, but your probably already know that
Object. Subject. Abject. Hole. fire, it worked beautifully. first i came reading your scenario. i must add, though she tried to follow your suggestion of no intercourse, but after she licked my cock clean as a whistle, i was highly aroused and my agressive nature took over. while i did settle for a mild compromise, i did tear the jeans from her body, leaving her panties on. i bent her over the arm of the couch, pulled her panties to one side and fucked her ass until i had, once again, filled another of her holes with my cum. as she turned out to be quite a noisy little fuck, i had no choice but to stuff my drawers in her mouth and loop my black leather belt around her neck in an attempt to silence her. after i filled her ass, i noticed she was a bit more subdued than i felt comfortable with. i thought, maybe it was the belt. when i pulled my spent cock from her ass she lazily rolled off the arm of the sofa and fell to the floor. she seemed a little pale. as i bent to check her pulse and breathing i removed my soaked drawers from her mouth and pressed my mouth and ear close to hers. as i thought about this, i kept slapping her. she kept moaning and the color returned to her cheeks. i bent down to kiss her mouth, the remnaints of my cum still in the corner of her mouth mixed with the drool that had escaped since removing my drawers. i kissed her deeply as she simultaneously reached for my now once again erect cock. i picked her up and layed her on her back on the coffee table . this time with her head bent backwards off the table. i half shoved as she half guided my cock back into her mouth. i pressed towards the back of her throat as she grabbed my ass pushing me in deeper than i had been previously. again the drool and mascara began to run as i rhythmically pounded her tonsils into sweet oblivion.... i will allow you to use your imagination to finish what happened next, but just wanted to thank you for your kind suggestion. sincerely, -- Always one step ahead - The OrchidMask for sometimes The Devil is a gentleman - Percy Bysshe Shelley "How 'bout a great big cup of Go Fuck Yourself?" - Tattoo Odyssey, Philadelphia Edited by - orchidmask on 2008-06-25 04:18:26 | |
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| destinynh | Posted: 2008-06-25 04:56 | |
Forum Slut United States 1,415 Posts | i dont think it is trickery, nor that it is wrong, you said he had no interest, so apparently you did speak to him about it. If he wants to be brought into the play in such ways then he does have an interest, either that or he is stupid and doesnt know what your doing! in either case, you told him, he seems to be trying....be careful though he may be a submissive......ouch! -- Trust is feeling totally safe and secure while knowing you're totally vulnerable | |
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| Miss_Katie_S | Posted: 2008-06-26 04:12 | |
| Forum Initiate United Kingdom 5 Posts | Thank you to everyone who has read this post and replied. I am overwhelmed by the advice and support you've given me! Some what I want to hear, most what I need to hear. Just to clarify a few things. I did speak to him about my fantasies and desires quite a long time ago. I never labelled it as BDSM or anything but he did. He said he wasn't interested in trying anything and found the whole thing a bit weird. I was worried I'd lose him so said it didn't matter and I could happily live without all the kinky stuff. I tried to push it out of my mind for the sake of our relationship but over a couple of years I found it more and more frustrating and felt like there was a big part of myself that I was denying. Wanderingcelt asked me what I want more and although I love BDSM I would still choose him over kink because I love him so much, I just wish he was more open to things I was in to. I don't necessarily need a 24/7 lifestyle, just every so often would be nice! When I'm doing these 'playful' things I'm sure he's aware that they are connected to my desires, but as yet he hasn't mentioned it. I am seriously considering speaking to him again to find out if he actually enjoys the playing and realises that they are part of my fantasies. I'm thinking about 'confessing my sins' and saying I've been trying to get him into it, but that if he wants me to stop I will. I'm just worried because he seems to be enjoying it at the moment and if I remind him that is linked to 'BDSM' he'll want me to stop. Aagh! So, thank you again for all your helpful comments. Particular thanks to fire6brand and her lovely suggestion, which I am definitely considering trying! Also thanks to reven and Lord of Bugs as your posts made a lot of things more clear in my mind. Also thanks to Slut Sofia for making me realise that I am actually topping from the bottom, which has made me realise the submissive thing to do would be to talk to him and do as he wishes, even if means giving the kink. I'll keep you all updated on how things go. Katie | |
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| arayofsunshine | Posted: 2008-06-26 05:21 | |
black swan United States 10,664 Posts | Maybe you're not submissive. Maybe you want to bottom. And topping from the bottom can be perfectly fine. -- Sunshine Daddy's owned HN/JB. Seeing the goodness in someone does not imply ignoring their difficult qualities or unskilled actions. Rather, we can fully acknowledge these difficulties, while at the same time we choose to focus on the positive. If we focus on the negative we will naturally feel anger, resentment, or disappointment. If we focus on the positive, we will forge connection to the person. Sharon Salzberg | |
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He might love a tear streaked doll pleasing him to the point of gagging herself on his cock and just not know it. What else... run his fingers along where your lips are stretched around him. Show him. Keep watching for signs. Hmmm... if you're dressed (and if you are dressed this is subconsciously obviously all about him) ask him if you may touch yourself, say please, manners are sexy. When he answers, deep throat him so that he's not able to be the gentleman and help. Start pushing your jeans and panties down around your knees for that hobbled feeling. Show him how much you love what he's doing to your mouth. Intermittently smacking your pussy will show him that you like that too. Do not proceed to intercourse! Not this round. I think this time he should come in your face, mouth, throat. After his orgasm, clean his cock thoroughly. Lick away every trace of your ministrations. Smile up at him with your pretty tear streaked submissive face. 