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| veryhotwitch | Posted: 2009-07-05 08:35 | |
Forum Maniac United States 5,385 Posts | vegassongbird: Past 40 you have the duel problems of being very transactional and very romantic at the same time. You have assets to protect and you're so hungry for the good stuff. I think it's down to that quote from Accidental Tourist: It's not who they are, it's you are when you're with them. Early in, she said accusingly, "You're a good guy. You act like you're not, but you are". this really resonates with me. i know women also get involved with men who degrade and debase their self-worth, but i will address this from the owner's side. he spent a long marriage with a woman who spent most of her time trying to control him, holding him at arm's length emotionally, while not providing any affirmation. she actually once said that if she ever thanked him for a kindness, or complimented him, he would get spoiled and expect that all the time. one of the first things i recognized in him was a goodness in his center. i also saw how he chafed and struggled when offered even a small gesture of care. but as time went forward i watched him soften, bloom and thrive. as i too have grown under his hand. he tells me i make him a better man, that i complete him. i know he has made me a better person and that together we are better than apart. how many times in just this past week have we seen submissives whining about their doms not being domly enough, the way they want, when they want it, which seemingly is all the time? how mightily they race to share every atom of thought/feeling/confusion with him, while not taking even a moment to exhale, shut up and listen. then submit and do? ya know, do the "thing" they claim to want to do, but they're too busy complaining about it not being done to them? undermining and demoralizing the one they say they cannot live without? pre-conceived notions are a death knell when they are not combined with self-actualization and self-awareness. it's fine and dandy to know what we most actively desire in a partner, but unless you spend time listening and watching, and less time whittling at them, you'll be chasing your emotional tail the rest of your life. allow yourself to actually discover the interior of your partner, remarkable what lies beneath. For her part, before she found out she needed to be subjugated and humbled, she needed fun and respect. "So hard to find in the same man at the same time", she said. our friends have told us they have never known a couple who laughs together as much as the owner and me. regardless of which side of the slash, you need to respect the other. who holds the crop and the power is moot. actions need always to come from that place. Wing asked me why I'm even studying; I could retire today and do nothing. I told her, "I need to have a life so you can keep interrupting it and blowing it up". Having your life where you want it is something you can work on while waiting for a Wing. the owner jokes often that i stick around because i find him entertaining. works both ways. i need to be challenged and i bore easily. i have almost no tolerance with those who lack curiosity and mental agility. this is not to say i'm a frisky puppy with a stick, but we both *want* to be engaged with the world and each other. when we met, neither of us was looking for what eventually transpired. perhaps that made it easier to grow from and with an acceptance of each other's flaws and failings. we weren't expecting perfection, nor did we have a script. keep you heart and your mind open. she will come. that command remains a keeper for after you find her. witchy -- words ought to be a little wild for they are the assault on the unthinking. ~~j.m. keynes | |
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| arizona_bound | Posted: 2009-07-05 09:15 | |
Forum Maniac  United States 2,984 Posts | veryhotwitch: one of the first things i recognized in him was a goodness in his center. I loved this simple perfect statement, witchy, especially as it rings true with my GM as well. pre-conceived notions are a death knell when they are not combined with self-actualization and self-awareness. it's fine and dandy to know what we most actively desire in a partner, but unless you spend time listening and watching, and less time whittling at them, you'll be chasing your emotional tail the rest of your life. allow yourself to actually discover the interior of your partner, remarkable what lies beneath. A-men Grizzly's olsg  "my special lady - my obedient and erotic slave girl, my confidante, | |
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| JackBoot | Posted: 2009-07-05 11:29 | |
Forum Newbie United States 88 Posts | olsg: veryhotwitch: one of the first things i recognized in him was a goodness in his center. I loved this simple perfect statement, witchy, especially as it rings true with my GM as well. pre-conceived notions are a death knell when they are not combined with self-actualization and self-awareness. it's fine and dandy to know what we most actively desire in a partner, but unless you spend time listening and watching, and less time whittling at them, you'll be chasing your emotional tail the rest of your life. allow yourself to actually discover the interior of your partner, remarkable what lies beneath. A-men Grizzly's olsg "my special lady - my obedient and erotic slave girl, my confidante, There are a few people here who I always look forward to reading their comments olsg, witchy, and vegas are among the best. | |
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| veryhotwitch | Posted: 2009-07-05 11:32 | |
Forum Maniac United States 5,385 Posts | olsg: veryhotwitch: one of the first things i recognized in him was a goodness in his center. I loved this simple perfect statement, witchy, especially as it rings true with my GM as well. thank you. reminded again of the pistol-packing mama, who brings a loaded gun on dates, i cannot help but think those who presume everybody else to be nefarious are far more likely than i ever will be to bump against the bad in the world. witchy -- words ought to be a little wild for they are the assault on the unthinking. ~~j.m. keynes | |
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| arizona_bound | Posted: 2009-07-05 12:11 | |
Forum Maniac United States 2,984 Posts | veryhotwitch: olsg: veryhotwitch: one of the first things i recognized in him was a goodness in his center. I loved this simple perfect statement, witchy, especially as it rings true with my GM as well. thank you. reminded again of the pistol-packing mama, who brings a loaded gun on dates, i cannot help but think those who presume everybody else to be nefarious are far more likely than i ever will be to bump against the bad in the world. witchy -- words ought to be a little wild for they are the assault on the unthinking. ~~j.m. keynes I must admit to a first meet with GM, after less than a month of conversations (the 1st 2+ weeks via email only), here at my place for a 3-day weekend. I didn't have a safe call in place nor was I packing anything (although I do have a healthy set of kitchen cutlery He exuded a genuine goodness. Maybe I was crazy (and, of course, he still thinks that I am just that) but I knew......and I was right about him and nothing he has done in this past 2 years, 5 months (to the day, as a matter of fact) has led me to believe otherwise. Grizzly's olsg "my special lady - my obedient and erotic slave girl, my confidante, | |
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| vegassongbird | Posted: 2009-07-05 15:15 | |
| Forum Apprentice United States 277 Posts | There's also a big element of being ready to be with someone, and then after that be with that specific person. Sometimes you think you're ready, but you're just hungry. I was really, really ready after a ten year layoff from having a real partner. I'd been travelling for work and having girlfriends with sell by dates. Not at all bad, but it ultimately it just made me hungrier. Edited by - vegassongbird on 2009-07-21 11:23:47 | |
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| peacewarrior | Posted: 2009-07-14 13:54 | |
Forum Initiate United States 28 Posts | VEGASSONGBIRD thou do inspires wandering in the desert &getting close & maintaining the vision/fire NO willy nilly.ALL or nothing is exactly No guts No glory... or as a poet said"we make our meek adjustments"...but that is the herd. passion & poets don't meek nothing. I'd like to hear more of your &her stories of Christian faith. your sense & paths...here or to poetdom yah wh00. | |
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| vegassongbird | Posted: 2009-07-15 03:03 | |
| Forum Apprentice United States 277 Posts | Hey, thanks for the kind words. B.com is unique in that if offers accounts of three dimensional people having this kind of relationship where the ball gag is not the entire focus of the story. But if you like hot bible sex, check out The Little Wing Diaries in the Arts Section. I just added another of my occaisional segments. When I'm sad, she comes to me Take anything that you want, anything. '"Little Wing" by Jimi Hendrix | |
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| veryhotwitch | Posted: 2009-07-15 06:02 | |
Forum Maniac United States 5,385 Posts | peacewarrior: wandering in the desert you get wireless in the desert? witchy -- words ought to be a little wild for they are the assault on the unthinking. ~~j.m. keynes | |
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). I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he was in fact exactly as he presented himself to be before I ever set eyes on him.