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| hellagood | Posted: 2008-06-26 14:25 | |
Forum Maniac United States 2,551 Posts | Miss_Katie_S: When I'm doing these 'playful' things I'm sure he's aware that they are connected to my desires, but as yet he hasn't mentioned it. I am seriously considering speaking to him again to find out if he actually enjoys the playing and realises that they are part of my fantasies. I'm thinking about 'confessing my sins' and saying I've been trying to get him into it, but that if he wants me to stop I will. I'm just worried because he seems to be enjoying it at the moment and if I remind him that is linked to 'BDSM' he'll want me to stop. Aagh! good clarification in your follow-up post. I can empathize with your fears of linking fantasies with "BDSM" stigmas in his mind but I think if you put emphasis sharing personal/intimate "us" fantasies and how *he* stokes them... then in the long run it's a risk worth taking just to see if the common areas of sexual fantasy has widened/deepened since you were last open about your desires. I mean I think over time with someone you'd be doing that anyway, no matter what the "bdsm-esque" qualities those fantasies evoke upon examination. Although I am uncertain how much examination you can really elude and for what length of time. If someone is just not built to process these activities positively I don't think it can be changed or should coerced and to be fair of course it doesn't mean you should have to sublimate who you are either. Edited by - hellagood on 2008-06-26 14:33:39 Edited by - hellagood on 2008-06-26 14:44:07 | |
| Althara | Posted: 2008-06-26 21:29 | |
Forum Apprentice United States 176 Posts | fire6brand: i love your eyeglass frames. very sexy. i want them. Thank you. i agree with the other posters re/communication being key. and i agree with reading material also as parties involved will never have all of the answers. i think maybe those steps fall in somewhere in the middle, after feeling out if they're open to it and before begging for hitty play. That's a good point. Doing things with less social taboo than hitting may be helpful in opening other doors. On the other hand he's already said no and she's still pushing him to do it. She's been clear about what she wants and he has no interest in initiating it or in really following through when she initiates it. She's trying to manipulate him and it will just end up breeding resentment later. So it's time to start talking because neither party is getting what they want. | |
| Mr_Hand | Posted: 2008-06-26 21:40 | |
Forum Maniac 8,537 Posts | Bad_Idea: Oh, for fuck's sake! Talk to the man. Otherwise, you are wasting your time and his. You won't be happy if he isn't really into what you are and he is wasting his time with you because he isn't really making you happy. Or, at some point in time wen you two are really clicking and horny, watch a dvd with him - say, 'The Secretary' and comment how you find one or two of the scenes a quite erotic. If he's a normal. red-blooded young male as is implied - I can't imagine he wouldn't be up for a little experimentation. Any man who wouldn't in that situation would have me wondering about his sperm-count and testosterone levels. | |
| Ms_Doc | Posted: 2008-06-26 22:55 | |
Forum Regular United States 864 Posts | Why can't people just learn to communicate...if he cannot accept it then you need to break ties before it hurts you more...or maybe compromise...who knows... -- ****____****____**** Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me. ****____****____**** Whip me, Spank me, Make me bleed... Kinky sex is all I need. ****____****____**** *_*[[*_*D*_*O*_*C*_*]]*_* | |
| SmokeyLady | Posted: 2008-06-26 23:09 | |
Sadistic Bitch United States 14,002 Posts | Have you thought how you would feel if it was you being the one who was tricked? Consider that. If your answer is, it would bother you, then apply it to him. If your answer is no then go and see a shrink. -- Just call me your 1 time service top, free of charge. hmmm Wanna play naked leapfrog? My validation marker is fresh outa blood = me I wanna predator your ass Bubble gum fucking, the newest kink You'll pick evil over stupid any day | |
| Ms_Doc | Posted: 2008-06-26 23:48 | |
Forum Regular United States 864 Posts | SmokeyLady: Have you thought how you would feel if it was you being the one who was tricked? Consider that. If your answer is, it would bother you, then apply it to him. If your answer is no then go and see a shrink. -- Just call me your 1 time service top, free of charge. hmmm Wanna play naked leapfrog? My validation marker is fresh outa blood = me I wanna predator your ass Bubble gum fucking, the newest kink You'll pick evil over stupid any day good thought... ****____****____**** Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me. ****____****____**** Whip me, Spank me, Make me bleed... Kinky sex is all I need. ****____****____**** *_*[[*_*D*_*O*_*C*_*]]*_* | |
| The_Butterfly_Girl | Posted: 2008-06-27 17:24 | |
Forum Newbie United States 89 Posts | fire6brand: Don't wrestle with him, dance with him. Teach him to dance with you. If you like him, give it time. Entice his aggressiveness. Feed him with your guiding sexual submissiveness. Tried cock worship? Try linking your fingers with his at the nape of your neck and begin gently pressing with him his cock into your throat. Gauge this, he should give you the signs, fuck him with your throat more aggressively... i.e., invoke drooling and gagging. I'm going to recommend the required non-waterproof mascara for this, but your probably already know that You're my new saint. -- "I am myself and that is enough." | |
| fire6brand | Posted: 2008-06-29 12:14 | |
Forum Regular Bouvet Island 507 Posts | orchidmask: fire6brand: Don't wrestle with him, dance with him. Teach him to dance with you. If you like him, give it time. Entice his aggressiveness. Feed him with your guiding sexual submissiveness. Tried cock worship? Try linking your fingers with his at the nape of your neck and begin gently pressing with him his cock into your throat. Gauge this, he should give you the signs, fuck him with your throat more aggressively... i.e., invoke drooling and gagging. I'm going to recommend the required non-waterproof mascara for this, but your probably already know that
Object. Subject. Abject. Hole. fire, it worked beautifully. first i came reading your scenario. i must add, though she tried to follow your suggestion of no intercourse, but after she licked my cock clean as a whistle, i was highly aroused and my agressive nature took over. while i did settle for a mild compromise, i did tear the jeans from her body, leaving her panties on. i bent her over the arm of the couch, pulled her panties to one side and fucked her ass until i had, once again, filled another of her holes with my cum. as she turned out to be quite a noisy little fuck, i had no choice but to stuff my drawers in her mouth and loop my black leather belt around her neck in an attempt to silence her. after i filled her ass, i noticed she was a bit more subdued than i felt comfortable with. i thought, maybe it was the belt. when i pulled my spent cock from her ass she lazily rolled off the arm of the sofa and fell to the floor. she seemed a little pale. as i bent to check her pulse and breathing i removed my soaked drawers from her mouth and pressed my mouth and ear close to hers. as i thought about this, i kept slapping her. she kept moaning and the color returned to her cheeks. i bent down to kiss her mouth, the remnaints of my cum still in the corner of her mouth mixed with the drool that had escaped since removing my drawers. i kissed her deeply as she simultaneously reached for my now once again erect cock. i picked her up and layed her on her back on the coffee table . this time with her head bent backwards off the table. i half shoved as she half guided my cock back into her mouth. i pressed towards the back of her throat as she grabbed my ass pushing me in deeper than i had been previously. again the drool and mascara began to run as i rhythmically pounded her tonsils into sweet oblivion.... i will allow you to use your imagination to finish what happened next, but just wanted to thank you for your kind suggestion. sincerely, Happy to have been of service to you, sir. I'm especially "touched" that she played dead for you. Object. Subject. Abject. Hole. | |
| Bebe1 | Posted: 2008-06-29 12:41 | |
| Forum Maniac 2,479 Posts | I'm big for the big"C"word on this one. No, not that word, this word.... COMMUNICATION!!! Pervs! Why make a big deal out of it, just tell him your desires, what turns you on and if he says no, can YOU be happy with that? Sometimes you've got to be selfish. Can you live with the knowledge your sex life may be be less than satisfactory... cuz I'd place a bet that you wouldn't be holding on to that hand for too long. Good luck. Bebe | |
| sksadvntr | Posted: 2008-06-29 13:35 | |
Forum Maniac United States 13,109 Posts | Rather than just let him say yes or no, get him to try it, and THEN see what he says. While he may think he has no interest, it may surprise both of you to find out that he is interested once he gets a taste. Communication, but a little experimentation to go with it. Both lead to honesty and knowledge, which with communication, can lead to tremendous things. Bebe1: I'm big for the big"C"word on this one. No, not that word, this word.... COMMUNICATION!!! Pervs! Why make a big deal out of it, just tell him your desires, what turns you on and if he says no, can YOU be happy with that? Sometimes you've got to be selfish. Can you live with the knowledge your sex life may be be less than satisfactory... cuz I'd place a bet that you wouldn't be holding on to that hand for too long. Good luck. Bebe -- -------- "Democracy is not a state in which people act like sheep." ""It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of non-violence to cover impotence."" -- both: Mohandes K. Ghandi | |
| orchidmask | Posted: 2008-06-29 16:20 | |
Forum Maniac United States 2,516 Posts | fire6brand: orchidmask: fire6brand: Don't wrestle with him, dance with him. Teach him to dance with you. If you like him, give it time. Entice his aggressiveness. Feed him with your guiding sexual submissiveness. Tried cock worship? Try linking your fingers with his at the nape of your neck and begin gently pressing with him his cock into your throat. Gauge this, he should give you the signs, fuck him with your throat more aggressively... i.e., invoke drooling and gagging. I'm going to recommend the required non-waterproof mascara for this, but your probably already know that
Object. Subject. Abject. Hole. fire, it worked beautifully. first i came reading your scenario. i must add, though she tried to follow your suggestion of no intercourse, but after she licked my cock clean as a whistle, i was highly aroused and my agressive nature took over. while i did settle for a mild compromise, i did tear the jeans from her body, leaving her panties on. i bent her over the arm of the couch, pulled her panties to one side and fucked her ass until i had, once again, filled another of her holes with my cum. as she turned out to be quite a noisy little fuck, i had no choice but to stuff my drawers in her mouth and loop my black leather belt around her neck in an attempt to silence her. after i filled her ass, i noticed she was a bit more subdued than i felt comfortable with. i thought, maybe it was the belt. when i pulled my spent cock from her ass she lazily rolled off the arm of the sofa and fell to the floor. she seemed a little pale. as i bent to check her pulse and breathing i removed my soaked drawers from her mouth and pressed my mouth and ear close to hers. as i thought about this, i kept slapping her. she kept moaning and the color returned to her cheeks. i bent down to kiss her mouth, the remnaints of my cum still in the corner of her mouth mixed with the drool that had escaped since removing my drawers. i kissed her deeply as she simultaneously reached for my now once again erect cock. i picked her up and layed her on her back on the coffee table . this time with her head bent backwards off the table. i half shoved as she half guided my cock back into her mouth. i pressed towards the back of her throat as she grabbed my ass pushing me in deeper than i had been previously. again the drool and mascara began to run as i rhythmically pounded her tonsils into sweet oblivion.... i will allow you to use your imagination to finish what happened next, but just wanted to thank you for your kind suggestion. sincerely, Happy to have been of service to you, sir. I'm especially "touched" that she played dead for you. Object. Subject. Abject. Hole. little bitch is full of tricks, it appears... -- Always one step ahead - The OrchidMask for sometimes The Devil is a gentleman - Percy Bysshe Shelley "How 'bout a great big cup of Go Fuck Yourself?" - Tattoo Odyssey, Philadelphia | |
| shaman723 | Posted: 2008-06-30 13:28 | |
Forum Maniac United States 3,737 Posts | HartOgoId: Sounds like you are attempting to manipulate him into doing and being what you really want. How about instead you try communicating your desires to him? Personally, if I can manipulate a man, I quickly lose interest. -- Were there no sun to call her brightness forth? ~Sir Thomas Moore~ i am with you. Real communication, no games and no manipulation. Travis The Braille of each man's heart is not so different from my own Rachel Snyder | |
| MasterFiller | Posted: 2008-06-30 14:43 | |
Forum Apprentice United Kingdom 223 Posts | It may work for a while but if you are truely submissive then it will become unsatisfying. otoh it can owrk for some - what you really need to do is talk and explore. -- My pleasure is your satisfaction | |
| sinisterdark | Posted: 2008-06-30 21:49 | |
Forum Regular United States 803 Posts | It sounds as though you are trying to top from the bottom. This can be done but ultimately it can blow up in your face. Any time deception, whether direct or indirect, is employed in a relationship it can be distasterous. The best course of action is to be open and honest with this person and let them know what it is exactly you want. Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any truly good and functional relationship. -- They will say that I have shed innocent blood. What's blood for, if not for shedding?-Daniel Robataille, Candyman We all have our pleasures, mine are the pain and suffering of other people.-Judah Earl, Crow:City of Angels | |
| Celeste43 | Posted: 2008-07-01 12:37 | |
Forum Maniac United States 11,059 Posts | Putting aside the ethical considerations for a moment. Let's ask if it's working? You brat and he gives you one half hearted spank on rare occasions. Does that sound like it's effective for you? Don't use the term BDSM or force or r*pe. Just ask him to do it harder and then explain it so it doesn't sound as though it's coming from a bad place. His ex, or he when young, may have been physically abused and he therefore equates rough play with abuse. If so, of course he wouldn't want to do it. Explain it as such: "When you grab me and push me down and start to have really hard sex with me I feel great, I feel as though you really want me and are overcome with lust. This makes me feel like an alltime sex goddess and that's a good thing". Don't say "I've been a bad girl and need to be punished, please use your belt on me until I cry". Give it to him in only positive terms. There is no should to the human heart.
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