Bondage Forums

Cognitive Dissonance isn't it? The clash inside your head when two valid points strike each other.

Internal Trade-offs have absolutely nothing to do with D/s or M/s relationships. However, D/s is a good way of illustrating the competition between two ideals. In many cases, a good person and a good slave are in competition. If I were truly submissive and giving I would be able to do X. However, as person, doing X would make me a bad.

I definitely changed the definition of submission and the definition of slavery for myself. I was handed some impossible definitions when I first came into this lifestyle. Then people who hate the idea of D/s came along and attacked those definitions and also attacked me for trying to live them. My conclusion was that it is a lot like the difference between believing in a diety and believing in a religion. I never question that there are things I cannot understand or define, such as god. But, I can question religion and how other people are defining god. (Go back now, and replace god with slavery and you may get my point.)

To me, the trade-off is that you stop seeing things as goals and look at other definitions. I look at slavery as a sexy fiction which I pursue in an effort to get as close to the fiction as possible. This allows me to not achieve slavery but to keep following it. Instead of looking at things like marriage, living together and slavery as goals, I look at them as things I may buy into and I may not buy into. Marriage has suddenly become a very poor goal and a poor path for my life. Living together also presents a host of problems I no longer wish to confront. Slavery still works for me, but the path to define it for myself represents a series of internal trade-offs.
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~molly~ Yay! I am a pumpkin!

Edited by - firedaughter on 2005-06-15 23:15:46
Edited by - Misha on 2009-07-11 03:15:92
Edited by - SpnkAlly on 1945-08-09 3:15:46

LOL. If molly twicked me, I will get even--'course, she'd prolly like that.
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fd

- The color is black, the material is leather, the seduction is beauty, the justification is honesty, the aim is ecstasy, the fantasy is death. - Susan Sontag

BWHAHAHAHA

I think she got you FD.

Go get her!
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dianne

I get no respect, damn it. Yer on my list now, too.