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 All Forums BDSM Talk and Support Support, Help, & Advice High heels all day every day? |  Login to Reply New Topic |  Printer Friendly |
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| SatinThreads | Posted: 2006-11-09 16:59 | |
| Forum Apprentice United States 177 Posts | Maybe I'm just venting. Probably. But this evening, after chatting with someone for hours that I really thought I wanted to meet, and that doesn't happen very often, he tells me if I lived in his house I would wear heels all day every day. I thought he was joking and I said so. Oh no, he assured me he was very serious. High heels. All day. Every day. No discussion. No compromise. Once in a while he might feel merciful and let me... I got so frustrated I can't even remember what came after that. This is like the third time in a month I have ended up in an argument over this exact subject. My impression is that a man telling a woman, especially a 54 year old woman, this kind of crap is just a horny cyberdom looking for . what is it called? Wank? Yank? whatever. fantasies for jacking off. And I told him so, at which point he started with the 'Wishing you the best in your search... Praying for me to find peace and happiness anywhere but with him... You are over-reacting... " I can't recall reading on one profile that refusing to wear high heels all day every day is a deal breaker. Am I just dumb as dirt? Is it just a given that women will really do this? All day every day? In real life? On real feet? Proverbs 17:22 | |
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| arayofsunshine | Posted: 2006-11-09 17:10 | |
black swan United States 10,664 Posts | Some of us do. Real life. Real feet. Some cultures do. Where I grew up in NYC there were plenty of girls who started wearing them when pretty young and who were never caught without heels or make-up. The no compromise thing may be a "for show" and would be as much of a turn off for me as the "very strict" or "very serious" sorts. -- Sunshine Daddy's owned HN. He's Pimping his ride  .Seeing the goodness in someone does not imply ignoring their difficult qualities or unskilled actions. Rather, we can fully acknowledge these difficulties, while at the same time we choose to focus on the positive. If we focus on the negative we will naturally feel anger, resentment, or disappointment. If we focus on the positive, we will forge connection to the person. Sharon Salzberg | |
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| SatinThreads | Posted: 2006-11-09 17:15 | |
| Forum Apprentice United States 177 Posts | arayofsunshine: Some of us do. Real life. Real feet. Some cultures do. Where I grew up in NYC there were plenty of girls who started wearing them when pretty young and who were never caught without heels or make-up. The no compromise thing may be a "for show" and would be as much of a turn off for me as the "very strict" or "very serious" sorts. So maybe my real problem is I grew up on the west coast. Literally. Feet in the sand. Bare feet. Thongs... no... excuse me... flip flops were the shoes for the day. Cute ones on Sunday. Proverbs 17:22 | |
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| kestrel_910 | Posted: 2006-11-09 17:18 | |
Forum Regular United States 660 Posts | Not for anything, But I could never understand ultimatums like that. And truthfully, the faster they came out, the happier I was. If a Dom is going to be insensitive over shoes, I cant imagine how much worse it could be if involved in a 24/7 arrangement... Perhaps they work for some. I am not one of them. Sir would love for me to wear certain shoes. Unfortunately, he picked a sub with wide feet. Ballet shoes just dont come in wide widths. He loves thigh high boots as well. Unfortunately, I have thick thighs, so that isnt happening until I reach a size 8 - maybe. And guess what, he loves me more than my footwear I'm a lucky bitch I guess -- "Dominance is such an odd state of affairs. Done well, it balances on a knife's edge between narcissism and selflessness" ~Moncreiffe | |
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| Celeste43 | Posted: 2006-11-09 17:18 | |
Forum Maniac United States 11,059 Posts | It's not good for you and someone who was unwilling to care about my health, indeed deliberately cause problems that would require surgery in order to indulge his fetish is someone I don't want to meet. Ask him to go make an appointment with a podiatrist and get approval for a 54 y. o. wearing heels 16 hours a day first and then you'll get into specific approval of your feet. Oh, and he pays the bills. However one thing this tells you is that by insisting on something which is a health issue, he really doesn't want to meet anyone nor is he capable of maintaining a long lasting relationship. Because if you really care about someone, you don't want to make them sick. The Bard PB's girl | |
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| pinkwind | Posted: 2006-11-09 17:31 | |
Dun quhynging! United Kingdom 10,319 Posts | Any man who, when engaged in serious conversation, cannot see beyond fantasy into the realities of life does not deserve a second glance. Talk to anyone in the bone business and they will tell you just how much trouble you are storing up for yourself in the medium and long term by wearing high-heels too long at a stretch, and for too many years. Yes, there are always exceptions, but i would not put my health in jeopardy in the hopes i was one. -- pink... Master Andy's emotion... From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs. | |
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| MissIsis | Posted: 2006-11-09 17:49 | |
Forum Regular United States 569 Posts | I think some of these so called "Dominants" just like thinking you will do anything for them. I have to wonder if some of them have any concept of reality. Not just about things like high heels, but real life endangering things. Getting to know a Dominant before giving yourself to one is just what you did. I wish more would do the same. I love heels too, but I can't possibly wear them all day, no matter how much I would want to will it. I just heard though about some "High heel" exercise classes they have in Chicago. The classes have some exercises that help strengthen muscles, so women can wear them, & be comfortable in them & they teach how to walk in them. Imagine that. Adapted from a Meatloaf song | |
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| Nobodyhome2 | Posted: 2006-11-09 17:50 | |
| Forum Apprentice United States 207 Posts | Tell him you'll wear any pair he can fit in his anus...should be the end of it? -- “Love hurts. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up” -Jim Morrison | |
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| Mame_Foster | Posted: 2006-11-09 18:15 | |
Forum Regular United States 609 Posts | I think it would be okay to wear kitten heals most of the time, but 16 hours a day? That's pretty harsh. I certainly can't do that. Frankly, sounds like his kink ain't yours at all..... | |
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| subbie_baby | Posted: 2006-11-09 18:19 | |
Forum Apprentice United Kingdom 194 Posts | SatinThreads:Is it just a given that women will really do this? Oooh, I don't think so, no. But some of us will. All day every day? In real life? On real feet? Yes. And with uncooked long-grain rice in them to maximise the pain if he likes that. | |
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| Cassandra3000 | Posted: 2006-11-09 18:43 | |
Forum Regular  United States 853 Posts | So, just put it down as a hard limit in your profile. Warn 'em off. -- Cassandra/Taos "Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries." Truman Capote | |
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| cuff-blindfold-m | Posted: 2006-11-09 18:51 | |
Forum Maniac Canada 3,535 Posts | I agree with what pinkwood and Celeste43 both said in the text You hear people say that they have back aches or neck aches or knee aches. That is all a result of your natural arch in the foot not being properly supported. Think about your feet first and formost. gives new definition to "Happy Trails" "It's not what you know, It is more of a matter of what you can prove!" - unknown source ______________ Visit blindfold's blog @ http://bondage.com/i/1469808/blog.html | |
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| Choux-fleurs | Posted: 2006-11-09 18:54 | |
Forum Slut United States 1,968 Posts | SatinThreads:My impression is that a man telling a woman, especially a 54 year old woman, this kind of crap is just a horny cyberdom looking for … what is it called? Wank? Yank? whatever… fantasies for jacking off. And I told him so, at which point he started with the 'Wishing you the best in your search... Praying for me to find peace and happiness anywhere but with him... You are over-reacting... " I can’t recall reading on one profile that refusing to wear high heels all day every day is a deal breaker. Am I just dumb as dirt? Is it just a given that women will really do this? All day every day? In real life? On real feet? I blame this absurd request on men who got all their ideas about bdsm (whether they realize it or not) from Story of O. That's right up there with no bra or underwear, no wearing of pants, and eyes downcast at all times. I find the idea laughable but some men want it and some women do it. If you don't want to, then state so and don't listen to whatever these guys are telling you. If they are assuming a fantasy about shoes is some kind of "given," imagine what they'll come up with when you're "owned." Chalk it up to incompability and go on to the next. | |
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| MissIsis | Posted: 2006-11-09 19:05 | |
Forum Regular United States 569 Posts | subbie_baby: SatinThreads:Is it just a given that women will really do this? Oooh, I don't think so, no. But some of us will. All day every day? In real life? On real feet? Yes. And with uncooked long-grain rice in them to maximise the pain if he likes that. I apologize, but I had to laugh when I saw your reply, then looked at you, then at your profile. Seriously, when we were your age, we could wear heels all day, too. I should say I could. I shouldn't try to speak for Satin. As people get older, there are just some things we physically cannot do without becoming seriously injured or destroying our health, or becoming helplessly disabled & unable to care for ourselves. Although, we can love as hard now, as when we were your age, And although, some want to please even more now, than when we were your age, our bodies are not always capable of doing things we might wish we could. Most worthwhile Dominants, although,they might enjoy watching their submissive suffer for them, would never want to truely harm the toy that is capable of giving them pleasure. They will watch out for her & learn her limitations, often pushing them, but hopefully, knowing their submissive enough to know when to stop. Adapted from a Meatloaf song | |
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| _jade | Posted: 2006-11-09 19:08 | |
Forum Slut Canada 1,209 Posts | on the plus side... it sounds like he's never tried wearing heels for an extended period of time ha!. -- | |
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| novelgal | Posted: 2006-11-09 19:12 | |
Forum Apprentice 322 Posts | I agree that it's pretty absurd- Although personally I find a low heel (around an inch and a half, and I wear a 9 1/2) more comfortable than a flat shoe and used to wear them everyday, I live in the mountains. It isn't gonna happen, especially walking as much as I do. I think it makes it that much more sexy when you do wear heels, that it is special, that I am giving slight suffering for a few hours. We both get the added benefit of an even more gorgeous ass A girl I knew in high school explained wearing heels as doing penance with your feet, and I have to agree. | |
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But as for everyday? I like to think that he's happy with me as I am without all of the extra adornments.