Bondage Forums

More and more I've just been trying to get him into play fighting or struggling by pinching his nipple or something. He has pinned me down for a bit of light-hearted payback and I've always really enjoyed it. I think he does too but he never takes it further or initiates anything.

I'm pretty sure this isn't the best thing to be doing but he doesn't ever get seem to mind and I'm not sure what else to do that won't scare him off.

It's wrong isn't it?!

Personally, if I can manipulate a man, I quickly lose interest.
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However, this kind of playfulness usually doesn't result in your relationship dynamic miraculously transforming, so best just to be upfront and talk about it. He may want it too ....

It sounds like they've already talked about it. She says he isn't interested.

My interpretation of her post is she is trying to get him to play more, maybe in the hopes of a more formal dynamic. I don't see it as manipulation, just playful testing.

I wanted nothing to do with a full-blown BDSM relationship at first either. The more I tasted, especially playing, the more I wanted in play and in a relationship. Some do, some don't.

He seems somewhat interested in play anyway, if nothing else.

Maybe try to combine the kink with real life descreet power struggles to get him into it?

For instance if a female was staying up late and non-offensively denigrated herself for this, saying something like "I will have to send you to bed early next time" might make it more pallatable, possibly followed next time by something like "I will have to send you to bed with a spank".

I suppose from the angle of a female sub you could wait till you make some kind of incidental harmless infraction then follow his mutual agreement that you should or shouldnt have done whatever it was, with a suggestion that you be spanked or punished.

This way you are making a connection between what are normal and healthy issues in the reality of the relationship with kink making it more pallatable I wouldn't be suprised if you where trying that already, all be it that persistence in itself probably won't work and might have the opposite effect.

Otherwise I have no idea I hope things work out for you.

Although talking has its place, there's ways to communicate physically that can be pretty compelling. I'm mentioning this because I've been with vanilla men who intellectualized D/s as "OMG that's so sick/violent/wrong" etc. but loved D/s play. Their bodies didn't lie.

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