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 All Forums BDSM Talk and Support BDSM Relationships So my friend has asked me to Dom him... |  Login to Reply New Topic |  Printer Friendly |
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| intlieosk | Posted: 2008-08-27 21:34 | |
| Forum Regular Belarus 629 Posts | I don't have an issue with that, and would rather he explore something he wants to try with someone he trusts. But I am concerned that it could affect the friendship in a negative way if it turns out to be something he does not enjoy. He has never been dominated before, but wants to experience it. Does anyone have any advice/tips to maybe prevent that from happening? | |
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| Chief | Posted: 2008-08-27 21:56 | |
Medieval Barber United States 7,424 Posts | What kind of a friend is he? Are you romantically involved? Sexually active? A casual friendship with none of the above will change unpredictably, probably dramatically, after a D/s experience. That's about all I could predict/advise. Is he using your interest in kink as an intro to becoming involved sexually? I'm just having a hard time with the idea of a friend asking for that, in the absence of some other motivation. | |
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| enduser | Posted: 2008-08-27 22:06 | |
Fun, Inc. United States 1,059 Posts | ^ i think you are probably right. but there has to be a better way to get laid. oh that's right! honesty! -- good luck honey "Just because I got the monkey off my back doesn't mean the circus left town." - Mister_Banks "the future is here. it's just not evenly distributed yet" - William Gibson | |
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| intlieosk | Posted: 2008-08-27 22:41 | |
| Forum Regular Belarus 629 Posts | I think its more along the lines of, he wants to know if its something he is interested in. Because he really won't be getting "laid". He's recently had a threesome, he's tried watersports... and is just looking to explore more. It is a casual friendship, but we are quite open with one another. He knows clearly without a doubt it would just be domination, there would be no kissing, no exchange of fluids whatsoever. My limits, he has agreed to them. | |
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| infiniteJest | Posted: 2008-08-27 23:36 | |
Forum Initiate United States 29 Posts | Well if he wants to try it, accepts your terms, and has good measure of trust with you, then I see no reason not to try it out. Maybe go a little bit easy on him since it's his first time. The only reason not to would be if you thought it would complicate your friendship later. But I mean, if he's tried watersports, he's probably not a timid guy... I doubt he's going to freak out as soon as you start doing playing a role with him. I see no harm in giving it a try. | |
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| Cenobite` | Posted: 2008-08-28 04:08 | |
| Forum Maniac United Kingdom 2,337 Posts | Talk to him-brainstorm and suggest ideas with rope bondage, pain/pleasure play, sense play, humiliation etc beforehand and search for related pics/vids, send them to him and ask him what does he think/feel about them-that will you give you a better idea of what to do for starters. You're helping him to establish his limits that he may not be aware of yet, likes and dislikes so yeah, the safeword is handy. Go at his pace but on your terms...although that doesn't mean you can't encourage him to change tempo if he's the sort that likes living outside of his comfort zone. And afterwards? Well afterwards, you can discuss what he liked/disliked about the scene, analyze (but don't over-analyze), be affectionate (but not too affectionate) etc yadda yadda...in short, just be how you've always been with him as a friend, if not a little more open. If he feels awkward, work through it with him, don't shy away. Communication is the key throughout the scene and after it has finished. And FTR Chief, I've done similar things like this before with platonic friends and sex was never on the cards; at best it's enhanced our friendship and trust in eachother. Can you get better than a chubby psycho bitch armed with an axe and chocolate? I think not! "Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion" Schism-Tool In the end everything will be okay. If everything is not okay, then it's not the end. Feed meh! Ecstacy of Fear | |
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| NASHVILLEDOM | Posted: 2008-08-28 04:14 | |
Liberal Dragon Slayer  United States 33,597 Posts | withoutintentions:
Good way to get those things done around the house that you can't or don't want to do. nd | |
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| _Ghost | Posted: 2008-08-28 06:43 | |
Forum Slut United States 1,754 Posts | enduser: ^ i think you are probably right. but there has to be a better way to get laid. oh that's right! honesty! Honesty does not accumulate the one night stands. If people knew my true intentions I'd probably wind up in a mental ward. My mind is a dangerous place... bad things happen to good people. "...by the by, this moment is so great, I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny, little moments." Edited by - master_ghost on 2008-08-28 06:46:11 | |
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| enduser | Posted: 2008-08-28 06:52 | |
Fun, Inc. United States 1,059 Posts | Honesty does not accumulate the one night stands. If people knew my true intentions I'd probably wind up in a mental ward. My mind is a dangerous place... bad things happen to good people. -- and you are a young man in a target rich environment. forgive me the pleasures of my dottage - a smart woman making a dumb decision and knowingly placing herself in my grasp. it's about all i have time for these days. you go! ghost! -- "Just because I got the monkey off my back doesn't mean the circus left town." - Mister_Banks "the future is here. it's just not evenly distributed yet" - William Gibson | |
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| intlieosk | Posted: 2008-08-28 12:20 | |
| Forum Regular Belarus 629 Posts | NASHVILLEDOM: Good way to get those things done around the house that you can't or don't want to do. nd Thats a very good point. | |
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| Bassareus | Posted: 2008-09-01 02:28 | |
Forum Initiate 21 Posts | enduser: ^ i think you are probably right. but there has to be a better way to get laid. oh that's right! honesty! Yeah. As far as I know, it works just fine.
But I do get the feeling from what you write that you're ready and able to handle it, so I'd say, go for it and enjoy. No exchange of bodily fluids sounds fair enough - I just wonder if he'll be fully satisfied after a scene with such a limited level sexual element. It's really hard to imagine unknown person's needs and expectations... My own first experience of this kind made me realise that I'm not gonna be into casual playing. I do need the sexual-emotional undertone to be very strong. Playing with a friend (with whom I'm not even in casual sexual "contact") most likely would not. However everybody's different - so I guess you'll just see how it works for your friend Power is the type of thing most people don't think about, until it's taken away. Mary Alice | |
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