Bondage Forums

I decided I was going to "change" my persona and become a Domme, a Switch, a real Bitch to the males that I met. At first flogging a male's genitals was empowering and when he cried it was even better! I had totally objectified this male. And I was not pleased with myself when I got my head together. Yeah at first I was happy, but that wasn't me. I was hurting a person because it was about someone else and I wasn't focused on what I had in front of me. That was not cool.

Anyway, I don't know if I make any sense. But that's my experience. I'm a submissive and in truth, I have power in this true nature of my sexuality.

Good luck in what you wind up doing.

Holly

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Whether you are a Domme, submissive or switch be who you are. Changing who you are because of past relationship pain means your past pain is controlling who you are. Do you really want to carry that pain with you for the rest of your life?

I say cope and deal with your past pain and If you still want to be a Domme then go for it.

Be the driving force in your life means being you are the strongest influence in your life and not a past pain and or a past event.

Best Guess advice..

But, considering how I tried to squish things together, let me clarify a bit more.

I had been top in the simplest of terms in other relationships, but sunk back into bottom with the latest.
When then he presented the fact that he was a switch too, I was both mindfucked and ecstatic, and really got into it, but things ended before the true potential could be established, and so I had to halt my feelings, and am left the way I am now.

And I must say, to RoastedRodent, that I worded that horrifically, and meant in punishment/a different persona kind of thing. But yes, I do admit to the mistake of letting my anger come into play and posing a danger.

So in the end-
I didn't get to properly develop myself as Top, and with such a sometimes ruthless, unfeeling Top for a lover for a while, and only him so serve as inspiration, I'm...
haha, I'm doing it wrong, aren't I?

I am the Dom in the relationship, but in past have been the Sub. I have been the Sub in most aspects of my relationships. I have allowed my self to be controlled.
Now I am married to a woman who is a natural Sub. She has asked me to bring out the Dom in myself.
I am more comfortable with being the dominant one now, after we discussed the positioning we both enjoy.
I go get to switch every now and again, but it generally comes from me telling her she is to the aggressor.
Anyways,for me, a man, which should not be so different, became comfortable with the Dom Mindset after discussion and developing trust.
The biggest thing for me is the communication. I do not feel any level of guilt because know factually that she enjoys every minute of our interactions and is comfortable with giving me control.

as for ...bitter, ruthless, cold....

i guess you could to it that way.
but you should self evalue if you have
guilt about your life or the way you
live it.

I only enjoy it when I'm actually angry at the person I get to take it out on. That's when the mindfucks come out.

I will not however play or punish my boy when I am upset. He is a dear thing to me and the idea of risking permanent harm does not entice me in the least. I may hurt him, but I will never harm him.

It is fine if you want to explore both sides of the experience in BDSM, but it is imperative that you go into each scene with a clear head regardless of the role you intend on performing.
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