Bondage Forums

barebackgirl:
Many of the more popular books on our subject (S&M 101 by Wiseman, Screw the Roses Send Me the Thorns, etc.) go over safety mechanisms in some detail. But here are a few important rules that I've survived by:

1) Never give your personal information, or any information you can be tracked by, until you've gotten to know and trust the person. In person--NOT via email.

2) Have that first meeting in a busy location--like the Starbucks at a mall--and even if he's the nicest, sweetest guy in the world, keep the date from 1/2 hour to 1 hour, and don't let him follow you out to your car/bus. Buy your own coffee, and don't let it out of your sight.

3) If you think someone might have followed you home from a date, especially if it's someone that sets off your Creep Meter, run a few errands and head over to a friend's house afterwards. You don't have to explain why you're there.

4) Listen to your instincts. Gavin de Becker, in his magnificent book The Gift of Fear, tells us that nine times out of ten, our gut knows something's wrong before our brain does.

5) You don't have to explain to a friend why you need a safecall. You can simply say you're on a blind date and you want to check in with him/her. Set up a code phrase to be used in emergencies only--with my safecall friend, it was "Damn Yankees" --so that she would know I was in trouble and needed help.

6) Any Dom who gets angry at you for being concerned for your health and safety on a first meeting/first date is not a Dom, or at least not the Dom for you. A good Dom will give you all the time you need to become comfortable and trust Him, because He knows once you trust Him, then He can do the terrible things He wants to do to you, and keep doing them.

Hope that helps a little. I'm sure others will give much better and more thorough advice; but that's my little two cents on the matter.

- bg

barebackgirl:
Many of the more popular books on our subject (S&M 101 by Wiseman, Screw the Roses Send Me the Thorns, etc.) go over safety mechanisms in some detail. But here are a few important rules that I've survived by:

1) Never give your personal information, or any information you can be tracked by, until you've gotten to know and trust the person. In person--NOT via email.

2) Have that first meeting in a busy location--like the Starbucks at a mall--and even if he's the nicest, sweetest guy in the world, keep the date from 1/2 hour to 1 hour, and don't let him follow you out to your car/bus. Buy your own coffee, and don't let it out of your sight.

3) If you think someone might have followed you home from a date, especially if it's someone that sets off your Creep Meter, run a few errands and head over to a friend's house afterwards. You don't have to explain why you're there.

4) Listen to your instincts. Gavin de Becker, in his magnificent book The Gift of Fear, tells us that nine times out of ten, our gut knows something's wrong before our brain does.

5) You don't have to explain to a friend why you need a safecall. You can simply say you're on a blind date and you want to check in with him/her. Set up a code phrase to be used in emergencies only--with my safecall friend, it was "Damn Yankees" --so that she would know I was in trouble and needed help.

6) Any Dom who gets angry at you for being concerned for your health and safety on a first meeting/first date is not a Dom, or at least not the Dom for you. A good Dom will give you all the time you need to become comfortable and trust Him, because He knows once you trust Him, then He can do the terrible things He wants to do to you, and keep doing them.

Hope that helps a little. I'm sure others will give much better and more thorough advice; but that's my little two cents on the matter.

- bg

barebackgirl:
Many of the more popular books on our subject (S&M 101 by Wiseman, Screw the Roses Send Me the Thorns, etc.) go over safety mechanisms in some detail. But here are a few important rules that I've survived by:

1) Never give your personal information, or any information you can be tracked by, until you've gotten to know and trust the person. In person--NOT via email.

2) Have that first meeting in a busy location--like the Starbucks at a mall--and even if he's the nicest, sweetest guy in the world, keep the date from 1/2 hour to 1 hour, and don't let him follow you out to your car/bus. Buy your own coffee, and don't let it out of your sight.

3) If you think someone might have followed you home from a date, especially if it's someone that sets off your Creep Meter, run a few errands and head over to a friend's house afterwards. You don't have to explain why you're there.

4) Listen to your instincts. Gavin de Becker, in his magnificent book The Gift of Fear, tells us that nine times out of ten, our gut knows something's wrong before our brain does.

5) You don't have to explain to a friend why you need a safecall. You can simply say you're on a blind date and you want to check in with him/her. Set up a code phrase to be used in emergencies only--with my safecall friend, it was "Damn Yankees" --so that she would know I was in trouble and needed help.

6) Any Dom who gets angry at you for being concerned for your health and safety on a first meeting/first date is not a Dom, or at least not the Dom for you. A good Dom will give you all the time you need to become comfortable and trust Him, because He knows once you trust Him, then He can do the terrible things He wants to do to you, and keep doing them.

Hope that helps a little. I'm sure others will give much better and more thorough advice; but that's my little two cents on the matter.

- bg

pensive:

it occurs to me that you may not know this
person (whom i assume) you are considering
getting together with in a relationship.

are you pushing this more than you feel
comfortable? sounds that way to me.

GryphonGrrl:
Be an adult.

Baronslair:
Other than 911,safe words are totally worthless.Take the time to know any future partners before getting involved.If you need to have a network of support on call.....you've made some poor choices already.No one will save you if you hook up with the wrong
guy.

whytechocolate:
Wow alot of great input here. Maybe one day I will get through all the forums. Most of them I learn a lil more I'm new at this and i am learning alot here. I am really glad I found this site some of my questions are answered without asking. Now I think I know why the guy I've been seeing isn't rushing into this with me. Just today he told me in time and I guess it is because he is trying to build my trust in him. I know I drive him crazy sometimes.I've never wanted to please someone so much and I get a lil impatient