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Forum time: 2010-03-18 09:41 
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chicoryPosted: 2009-07-03 19:16
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Forum Initiate

United States
20 Posts		crimson

that word shimmers in your mind,
doesn't it?

is it the color of my cheeks
when i finally admit what i am?

the carpet
under my knees

or

my knees
on the carpet
really more a scarlet

is it the drip drip dip
of dripping droplets
from my freshly split lip?

is it the color in the west
when we finally rest
with your wrist cool on my brow?

does it shimmer for you
like it does for me?

a mirage, ready to evaporate
just as you gingerly reach for it

just a shimmer,
then

gone

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miss_sladePosted: 2009-07-03 20:32
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Forum Slut

United States
1,810 Posts		i say agen..well put and said!!._blush

hugs._blush

Edited by - miss_slade on 2009-07-03 20:33:21

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bloodelfgirlPosted: 2009-07-03 20:53
Forum Initiate

Norway
18 Posts		Just something about the words you choose, and the vivid imagery you use, that really appeals to me. Again kudos on a lovely poem.
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chicoryPosted: 2009-07-04 15:28
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Forum Initiate

United States
20 Posts		Thank you again, bloodelfgirl.
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limerick12Posted: 2009-07-04 19:54
Forum Initiate

United States
6 Posts		Taken you may be. It doesn't keep you from being a delightful tease. You do write well and from your soul.
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EuphoricDavidPosted: 2009-07-05 04:29
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Forum Apprentice

United States
270 Posts		I like how you phrase some of the lines, its get under the skin. I also think you might want to try writing in haiku and tanku.
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o0o_Suzi_Uzi_o0oPosted: 2009-07-05 08:05
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Forum Apprentice

Canada
359 Posts
EuphoricDavid:
I like how you phrase some of the lines, its get under the skin. I also think you might want to try writing in haiku and tanku.


I agree with EuphoricDavid.

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BaronslairPosted: 2009-07-05 15:38
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Forum Maniac

Premium Member

United States
6,667 Posts		You are going to be a genuine force around here.....don't stop!!
_approve_approve_approve_approve
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chicoryPosted: 2009-07-06 06:25
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Forum Initiate

United States
20 Posts		limerick12... me, a TEASE? Well, maybe. Sorry about that. Apparently it's part of that doggone nature of mine.

EuphoricDavid... I have written a little Haiku but have never heard of Tanku. I'll google it and see what I come up with. Thanks for the suggestion! Right now I could do with one of those prompted poems to help get me started.

Baronslair... aw shucks, thanks again for your support.

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EuphoricDavidPosted: 2009-07-07 02:23
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Forum Apprentice

United States
270 Posts		My bad it was a typo "Tanka" might try cinqain too

Tanka is like haiku 5,7,5 but 5, 7, 5, 7, 7

They have a tanka chain in this forum and haiku too

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