Bondage Forums

Maybe you are one of the scammers on this site... Shut up...!

To the Poster... you have every right to be angry... no one likes to be lied to... Even (A.H.) if they were man/woman enough to admit it.

And your not foolish or naive... it shows that your have character... you have enough emotional strength to TRUST... Something A.H. probably knows nothing about... You took your time to meet him... nothing is more valuable than that. He wasted what was NOT his to waste.

I know how you feel... I had something similar happen to me, as well.. The people who do it are shallow souls at best...

Don't change who you are... if you do, then you gave that ass hole the power to change... don't give that to him...

And don't listen to A.H.... he/she/it is probably a therapist, looking for patients, who became a therapist so that he/she/it could try to figure out their problems...

And A.H.... if you should decide to respond, I know it will be difficult for you, but try, try hard, to make your response... at least, half way intelligent... half way positive... You probably won't... you probably lie to people as well.

Edited to add:

Edited by - _Ghost on 2009-07-10 17:58:05

I have had this happen to me before even though I am pretty straightforward about looking for an eventual long term relationship. If they were open from the beginning, in my case, I might have been open to playing, but withholding it would have just pissed me off like it did you.

I have even had this happen to me in vanilla situations. Had a guy go out with me three times (no funny business) and I couldn't understand why he was being such a perfect gentleman until he admitted that he was married.

There really was no excuse for me missing it, but in my defense, he was a huge environmental cause nut. My mind just couldn't make the connection between baby seal hugger and crazy mo-fo drug business. I also figured his muscly abode and demeanor was a way of compensating for being a hippie, not the other way around.

As to the OP, open relationships are much more common on this site/lifestyle than otherwise. It's not really something to feel betrayed about, unless he deliberately failed to mention it on his profile etc.

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When we meet someone new we fill in the blanks with a optimistic view points that might not be based in reality.

Once we get to know them we replace those blank spot with what we really know.

Sometime what we thought they are are rarely who they are.

Just an opinion.

Just move on and go next.

Ummmm isnt A.H just a part of the OP's sig line????

To the OP...He should have at least explained to you that you would be his bit on the side so that you would have the choice on whether thats what you wanted.

I would be pissed off aswell.

How long were you talking for before deciding to meet? If it was a short time then naturally your radar probably would have failed.

I spent a few months talking with my Owner...asking the same questions in different ways...trying to work out if he was bullshitting me or not.
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Alas, that doesnt allways do the trick.
Some guys happen to be liars.

Sure, some people tend to be liars, there's nothing you can do to prepare for that except chat for a very long time, or at least until they trip themselves up with their lies, and they do. Besides outright lying is often easier to detect than them lying by omission.

So, if you are worried about not being able to detect a lie about whether he is married, then it seems pointless to ask him any questions at all about anything over the internet or the phone.

This guy at least volunteered the info when you met, so it sounds like he would have told you before, had you asked. I've heard plenty of stories about both men & women being strung along for months with excuses to mask the fact that the liers are married.

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