Bondage Forums

Does your dom control your finances? If not, start setting aside money, it doesn't have to be a lot, just enough to get yourself an inexpensive place to live. Even a rooming house. Don't take calls from him. Warn your workplace that you were in an unhealthy relationship, and you feel you need to be protected.

Or do what Nash says, and move back home. The loss of your job is a hellofalot less troublesome than the loss of your self-worth. Cut your losses, and rebuild yourself. I lived on an island for three years, and saw many couples break up over geography alone. One partner just couldn't take the isolation of being on a swath of 13-mile-long rock and a 2.5 hour plane ride away from the mainland. They left, they and their partners recovered. Your case is like that, but it's different, because it's not a matter of disliking what is essentially rural life.

Why would your parents be ashamed of you? You're their daughter. They love you.

You need a therapist. You can't take this trip out of depression alone. You need to be a room where no-one can hurt you, and say all that you need to say. If you can't afford one, there are many community healthy centers that will charge you less than $20/session.

It's hard to be a in a city where you have no status. I know. But you're not living in Antarctica. There are services available. Shelters. Even a clergy person to speak with in confidence, whether or not someone of your religion.

If you have to, put on your sneakers and walk out of town. Leave no financial records behind, so he can't access your bank account and see where you've been. Go to the authorities if you feel threatened by him in any way.

And I'll catch all heck for saying this, but, f*ck it. In this case, when he's out of the house, I would take a good hard look at what's on his computer. And that's when you may need to call in someone else.

He may have "taken you to the edge" too quickly. You said you're new to this. It can be lovely, but confusing. And as erotic as its appeal, submission is not for everyone.

Good luck to you. Once you're out of the house, your life will get better.

Once you know that there is no good that can come from your continued association and that only hurt and deceit lay waiting for you, it is time to move away from that which makes you so unhappy to the point of being physically and emotionally damaging, I would say that YOU ARE THERE!

However after the dust has cleared and you have stopped (or significantly cut back on) beating up on yourself for giving this asshat the power over you that you did...you will realize that there is something that you can take from this experience to learn from and use in the future.

The thing now, is to start to disentangle yourself from this man. Moving back to your hometown sounds like a pretty good idea and I would think that there would be some comfort in a familiar city. You also would not be running into him in stores and the like.

Surely you have friends there that might help you out? I know that you probably do not want to move back to your parents but have you tested those waters? Moms that are less than warm other times tend to understand heartbreak as every one has experienced it. You do not have to explain everything to her just that he wanted to return to a shared partner/swinger lifestyle and you just could not do that.

Do you have work now? Did you have work back in your hometown or could you get work? If you are working now, I would say to start setting aside escape money. If not then I would hotfoot it home asap.

I know that this is a real rough patch for you but I think you are strong enough to pull it together. Skip the booze sweetie...it
A) Costs money that you could be saving up for your great escape
B) Does not fix or soften anything. All your crap is still going to be there the next day waiting for you.

All my best to you....
Laura

I am putting money aside to get of this house, and exploring all my options.

As for the booze...I poured the remainder down the drain yesterday. Sadly...it has created a monster in me at times and my behavior towards this man has not been polite, which essentially puts me in the same category as him.

I am working, just got in from work actually, so employment is not an issue right now. With that said...I am headed to bed, because I have another shift ahead of me tonight.

I truly thank each of you again.

Leaving a bad relationship can be so liberating....I left my last relationship by packing a small case, getting on a train and going home to my Mom...who made me one of her special breakfasts.

To this day I do not have any of the belongings from my old life....I was unable to take everything at the time and then realised I didnt need any of it...everything is replaceable.
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