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 All Forums BDSM Talk and Support BDSM Technique Power exchange? |  Login to Reply New Topic |  Printer Friendly |
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| IamZ | Posted: 2010-03-10 04:55 | |
Forum Slut Canada 1,225 Posts | Again I'm sure this has been discussed at length in the past. I'd love to hear some current thoughts on what this process means to you. As a switch - I see it as a constant back and forth both in and out of the bedroom. You?? Best, | |
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| NASHVILLEDOM | Posted: 2010-03-10 05:00 | |
Liberal Dragon Slayer United States 38,942 Posts | IamZ: Again I'm sure this has been discussed at length in the past. I'd love to hear some current thoughts on what this process means to you. As a switch - I see it as a constant back and forth both in and out of the bedroom. You?? Best, If you are switching with the same live in partner you have a problem that cannot be solved unless there is an agreement who has the power over the household. You are in essence living two lives and so is your partner. Without a script it is all adlib and you have the same problem nillas have, a power struggle. nd | |
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| tied2it | Posted: 2010-03-10 05:23 | |
Forum Apprentice Canada 484 Posts | IMHO i we exchanged her power to do housework for my power over the remote.....kidding . Power exchange in my view is giving and accepting authority . It's been said that a top is in many ways is a slave to there bottom as they in some cases are in charge of there subs well being . The bottom may have surrendered all control but to keep that offering (for lack of better words ) the top must know how to use this authority / power . The top's use of power needs to be accepted by the bottom on a very basic level or the top runs the risk of loosing the sub . Thus there is still somewhat of a back and forth of power in that way of looking at it a power exchange . | |
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| neo10 | Posted: 2010-03-10 05:35 | |
Forum Maniac  United States 8,756 Posts | Life is an ongoing power exchange. I find myself switching from being in charge to being a good citizen all day long. I suspect the better you do this the further you get on in life vis-à-vis your career and your standing in your local community. In my relationship I have handed over my authority just once and for always. I have no wish to switch, it confuses me. My being competitive means I will continuously need to struggle for that power back, which will destroy our dynamic. Fortunately my owner recognizes my strengths and doesn't try to squash them. He is confident in my commitment so he doesn't feel the need to make me less dominant. He just is more dominant than I am. -- I don't want power to be simply exchanged; I want to rip it from her body ~ HardTop I win, is the bottom line. It is understood from the outset ~ HardTop | |
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| tied2it | Posted: 2010-03-10 05:44 | |
Forum Apprentice Canada 484 Posts | Fortunately my owner recognizes my strengths and doesn't try to squash them. He is confident in my commitment so he doesn't feel the need to make me less dominant. He just is more dominant than I am. -- I don't want power to be simply exchanged; I want to rip it from her body ~ HardTop I win, is the bottom line. It is understood from the outset ~ HardTop [/quote]
Edited by - tied2it on 2010-03-10 05:48:07 | |
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| neo10 | Posted: 2010-03-10 06:00 | |
Forum Maniac United States 8,756 Posts | tied2it: TY  -- I don't want power to be simply exchanged; I want to rip it from her body ~ HardTop I win, is the bottom line. It is understood from the outset ~ HardTop | |
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| Mango | Posted: 2010-03-10 10:07 | |
Forum Apprentice United States 169 Posts | I think many relationships do have ongoing changes in their power dynamics. Certainly in the vanilla world, almost every interaction can be a power struggle. In my relationship, we have a pre-defined power dynamic, he is in control, has the power. I do not. We agreed on this and we largely live with this arrangement. There are times when we both struggle with it, but always come back to reaffirming this arrangement. This is our dynamic in the bedroom and out - in life. We both know our role and it works for us. I have recently begun to top or dominate others, but these are casual encounters with a brief time frame, and are not my regular day to day life. I agree with Nashville that it might be confusing if you are both switches and there is no agreement as to who has the power. I don't think I could live with that. | |
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| NASHVILLEDOM | Posted: 2010-03-10 10:16 | |
Liberal Dragon Slayer United States 38,942 Posts | Questions for the op and her partner. Which side of your switches are more dominant? Do they compliment each other? If so then an alternative may be to find another to express your other side. If they are both the same then you may be able to find another that will serve/dominate both of you. nd | |
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| IamZ | Posted: 2010-03-11 04:12 | |
Forum Slut Canada 1,225 Posts | Nash, Not really sure what you're asking "Which side of your switches ...?" The phrase, "I love power exchange" seems to be thrown around quite a bit. The responses here are (primarily) from people who have thought about it. I look forward to hearing from others. Best, | |
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| DrInTheHouse | Posted: 2010-03-11 20:10 | |
Earth Creature Moderator  United States 2,980 Posts | NASHVILLEDOM: IamZ: Again I'm sure this has been discussed at length in the past. I'd love to hear some current thoughts on what this process means to you. As a switch - I see it as a constant back and forth both in and out of the bedroom. You?? Best, If you are switching with the same live in partner you have a problem that cannot be solved unless there is an agreement who has the power over the household. You are in essence living two lives and so is your partner. Without a script it is all adlib and you have the same problem nillas have, a power struggle. Nash, with all due respect, this response is made of weapons-grade stupid. I also am a switch. Outside of the bedroom, I take care of the stuff I do well, and let my partner take care of the stuff that she does well. There is very little overlap. I am also interested in results, not the process. Who does what to whom sexually has no relevance to keeping the house running. | |
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| AngelllEyes | Posted: 2010-03-11 20:51 | |
United States 346 Posts | neo10: Life is an ongoing power exchange. I find myself switching from being in charge to being a good citizen all day long. I suspect the better you do this the further you get on in life vis-à-vis your career and your standing in your local community. In my relationship I have handed over my authority just once and for always. I have no wish to switch, it confuses me. My being competitive means I will continuously need to struggle for that power back, which will destroy our dynamic. Fortunately my owner recognizes my strengths and doesn't try to squash them. He is confident in my commitment so he doesn't feel the need to make me less dominant. He just is more dominant than I am. -- I don't want power to be simply exchanged; I want to rip it from her body ~ HardTop I win, is the bottom line. It is understood from the outset ~ HardTop
it's all about the journey ... | |
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| NASHVILLEDOM | Posted: 2010-03-11 21:28 | |
Liberal Dragon Slayer United States 38,942 Posts | IamZ: Nash, Not really sure what you're asking "Which side of your switches ...?" Which is more dominant your/their dominant side or submissive side. nd | |
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| Gisella | Posted: 2010-03-12 05:07 | |
lavuri in corsu 4,151 Posts | I don't see it as an exchange at all. In order to create the relationship we have, I have agreed to accept his decisions, directions and control. What do I get in exchange for that? Nothing. Everything. Works for us. beautiful because she was loved?" | |
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| IamZ | Posted: 2010-03-12 05:14 | |
Forum Slut Canada 1,225 Posts | DrInTheHouse: I am also interested in results, not the process. Who does what to whom sexually has no relevance to keeping the house running. Doc, You are such a honey. Z | |
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| IamZ | Posted: 2010-03-12 05:20 | |
Forum Slut Canada 1,225 Posts | Ok now back to me and my OP, Yes I am very self absorbed that way. I think when some people speak of power exchange what they are really speaking of is, in the sexual arena, relinquishing power (completely). I don't mean to turn it into yet another discussion on semantics but more more of a philosophical discussion. Again neo has offered this very clearly here and in other threads. Best, | |
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| C-Ray | Posted: 2010-03-13 06:31 | |
Forum Slut United States 1,682 Posts | I'm not a switch, so my knee-jerk reaction is the same as ND's. Stopping to think about it, though, I'd imagine that with two switches you'd find techniques to deal with any confusion generated. Running the household would be similar to a 'nilla relationship. Not a bad thing, if everybody can get on the same page the way DIH mentioned. From your subsequent posts, I'm guessing the switch aspect is not the gist of your question, though. I've never really cared for the term 'Power Exchange'. It always struck me as a contrived term people use to keep the 'nilla's off their back or try to explain our kinks to the in-laws. It's fine for that but I never really felt the term belonged on this board.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it. -- George Bernard Shaw | |
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