Bondage Forums

My mother called today.

Mom - Hi, how are you! Is your first day with your new job going grreeeeaaat? (She *never* says great.)

Me - Yeah, it's nice. You sound... odd. You havin' a stroke?

Mom - No, no, nothing like that. I'm just so happy for you (insert stupid kiddy name here) ! I started a new job today too!

Me - You're kidding, right? If you're going to tell me you took the head shop job, I'm disowning you.

Mom - Now listen here, you middle child of mine! I'll ground you all the way over there if you backtalk your mother!

Me - Yeah. Ok, sorry... mom. (Wincing at phone now)

Mom - Yes I took the job. They offer commision for things I sell! Only- (silence)

Me - Mom, don't say it. Just... don't. Ok?

Mom - Well, I didn't know who else to call, and since you're obviously knowledgeable about the budsum I just wanted to ask a quick question.

Me - Budsom? What the hell is that, and what have you done with my real mother? (Suddenly scared now)

Mom - Oh you know, that kinky stuff! Budsum! B D S M ! Why the hell they spell it like that makes NO sense. Can't they just say kinky?

Me - Right. Budsum. I dono, some people just can't spell. Or read. (Deadly serious. Don't *ever* laugh at your mother.)

Mom - Do people really use these beads of love? (Then whispers) It says they're for in your bottom!

Me - Mom, you're grossing me out here. Can't we talk about my laundry habits or something? What I had for dinner? Whether I'm getting enough sun?

Mom - David said I should be able to sell 10 sets of these a day. But it says "novelty" and I don't think that many people will all want to buy the same practical joke on a given day. Should I put them in the display case or hang them up with the keychains?

Me - Uh. You put them in the display case. The customers will hang them on their own keychains. Anything else mom? (7 napkins have so far been soaked with sweat. I feel like I've found hell.)

Mom - DON'T YOU TALK TO YOUR MOTHER THAT WAY! HAVE YOU USED THOSE BEFORE?!?! (Verbal gasp included)

Me - Sort of. (Damn near speachless at this point.)

Mom - Amy?! She was such a nice girl! How could you!

Me - Mom, that was 15 years ago. And yes, she was a nice girl. I didn't say her name.

Mom - I should call her mother! I can't believe there are people in this town who-

Me - (Interrupting) People in that town like me?

Mom - I'll call you later, we have to discuss this (Insert first AND middle name here. Always a bad sign.)

Me- Ok mom, we'll talk later. Just put them in the display case. They'll sell themselves.

Mom - Good bye rotten kid.

Me - Night, Mistress Mom. (Click.)

... the phone rang three more times in 5 minutes after that remark. I think I'mma have my number changed.
--
- Some things are too fundamental to debate.

- It is intuitively obvious to the most casual observer.

Edited by - Shifty on 2004-05-24 16:43:02

I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically.
-- George W Bush

Dear B.com members,

We are taking a field trip to go to Shifty's mom's shop. Please bring your permission slips (if you are a sub) or write one yourself (for switches and doms) and we will board the bus at 10am. Remember to hold onto your buddy's hand. We don't want anyone getting lost in the whack-off booths like last year.
--
http://geocities.com/jgirv_8745/OEF_Memorial

Not much of a story. Another moronic forumite, this one of epic proportions. ~~jezzie

I am a slut, full of frothy girl goo which needs physical and intellectual stimulation. Yay me!

I'm IN. Who's my buddy? Do I have to come up with one?

Ooh, this'll be better than the DomDepot in Hollywood, won't it?

Or the gunstore in Compton...but I digress.

--
jen

Suffering transcends; suffering for someone else exalts.

Thank you so much for the laugh. I needed one tonight.

Budsum.

I love it.

tessa

PS...Sorry for your pain...*walks away laughin' and snortin'*
--
'I am not infantile, You StinkyButt Poophead!!'

'You've got to dance like no one is watching, And love like it's never going to hurt'

I'll be right there....Life is short, and the roses smell particularly sweet today.

How very sweet.

If you felt uncomfortable having this conversation, try to imagine what it must have been like for her.

When you speak with her again, you might offer to educate her because if this is a commission based job, the more she sells, the more she makes.

I certainly hope you don't prefer that your Dear Mother work in a gun shop? This is by far the safer enterprise.

As was already suggested, this could work to your advantage in that your Mom could arrange for demonstrations.

In a month or two, think of the enlightened conversations you might have together. Also, the margin on higher end "toys" must be outrageous; you have a built-in discount now.

Your Mom isn't making anyone buy, she just answers questions and takes their money. I say, "Bravo, Mom!".

--
Horas non numero nisi serenas

See! May I go, please with cherries and whipped cream on top. I want more budsum toys!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.geocities.com/theslavewithin/ Disclaimer: I can't spell I'm too little