Bondage Forums

I called her about 20 minutes ago, just to try the old "group discount" pitch on her. I figure she's gotten the best of me quite a bit lately, so I might as well get even- or at least get a point or three.

I didn't.

Mom - XXX's Toybox, how can I help you?

Me - I'd like to order three violet wands, 5 pair of clover clamps, and the plastic sheep in the window display. Visa. (Deep, unrecognizable voice. I'm good at faking that.)

Mom - I'm going to give you 10 knuckles when I box your ears young man! What the HELL do you think you're going to do with a violet wand?! I better not catch you using that or I'll call the police!

Me - I guess that means you won't offer me a club membership?

Mom - Not on your life bucko. What do you want. I am the one working now, you're going to make me fall behind. (Heavy stress on the "I")

Me - Well, if that sexy guy you mentioned comes in maybe he'll fix your behind.

Mom - (click)

Me - (Redialing fast and with much delight.)

Mom - XXX's Toybox, how can I help you? (I could hear her teeth gritting.)

Me - That sheep come with an air pump? Or do I gots ta buy it seperate.

Mom - you're really not my son, are you.

Me - I'm your favorite one.

Mom - Don't push it.

Me - I have some friends who would like to make a bulk order at a discounted rate mom. No kidding. Can you do that?

Mom - I'll charge you triple for anything you buy. And if you send so much as a single friend of yours into this store I'm going to find out first hand what it feels like to use that silly crop. (Oddly, there is no humour in her voice. None. Not so much as a synaptic impulse of of a smile coming through.)

Me - Not even a small discount? Maybe some free lubricants? You have lubricants right? You know, the body paints, the goops, the jels, the asssssssstro-glide? Stuff like tha-

Mom - (Click)

Heh... I know damn well she's chomping at the bit.
--
- Some things are too fundamental to debate.

- It is intuitively obvious to the most casual observer.

Well, I guess this means that the road trip to take her for lunch is DEFINITELY on now.

Sign up here to take Shifty's Mum out to lunch

Merched.
--
THEAvAcAdoCLUB - HIGH Grand Model
"Avacado...It ain't whips and chains, but it'll work in a pinch"

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. ~ Gilda Radner

<this has been the highlight of my overly stressful week.

I'd even be willing to buy something at triple the regular price if i get to see her using the crop! I'll pay even more to see her using it on you Shifty!!!

<LAUGHS>

I would pay good money for a front row seat to watch THAT scene go down.

Merched.
--
THEAvAcAdoCLUB - HIGH Grand Model
"Avacado...It ain't whips and chains, but it'll work in a pinch"

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. ~ Gilda Radner

http://www.slaveregister.com/certificate/739099

"I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." (Robert Frost) "Not all who wander are lost." (JRR Tolkein)

btw, I think these other subbies are trying to get your Mom to use the crop on You. shhhhhhhhh please don't tell them I snitched!!
giggles
--

<signing up for the road trip>

D
--
Joe Canadian Legion
~~~ Time flies like an arrow; Fruit flies like a banana. ~~~
~~~ Do these welts make my butt look big? ~~~

I'd miss these posts too much.
--
Katt

"To be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain." ~Leo Buscaglia

"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love." ~Albert Einstein