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 All Forums BDSM Talk and Support BDSM Relationships Mom and boy. |  Login to Reply New Topic |  Printer Friendly |
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| Shifty | Posted: 2004-06-13 08:48 | |
| Forum Apprentice 474 Posts | Me - Hello? Mom - Did you look at the magazines? Me - I burned them. They're evil. Mom - You did not. Me - No, I did not. Mom - So you DID burn them! Me - Exactly. How ya doing? You still seeing baldy? (Why me? WHY?!) Mom - Now I have to pay for them, and he's not bald. Just a little shiny on top. Me - Do old people really have to be so kind and gentle? Mom - That's not funny. Would you like it if your kinky girlfriends gave you a hard time over something you can't help? Me- Never happen. That's what I have you for. Mom - The magazines come to 37.50 plus tax. What's your card number. Me - Same as yours. Mom - I don't think so. You have to pay for them. Me - No? Take a check? Mom - We're a cash only establishment. Me - I got connections. Mom - No, son. You don't. Me - Remember when you used to tell me "If you're going to drink beer, do it in the house!" Mom - Yes?? Me - So hook me up! Mom - That's different, and you know it. Me - Yeah, beer is cheaper. Come on, I need a wholesale plan. Mom - Does that mean you have a new girlfriend? Me - It means I'm thrifty. Mom - That means you're cheap. Me - So are my dates. It works out nicely. Mom - So is your mother. No discounts. Me - I'll send you the money. I'd send them back, but I need fodder. Mom - Fodder? Me - You know, filler material. (coughs) Mom - You better wash your sheets often! Me - The maid does that. Mom - Tell her I'm sorry. Me - For what? Mom - For giving birth to you. Me - Thanks. I'll give her the magazines and then hang myself. Mom - I learned how to tie a slip knot. Me - Yay you. Mom - Patty and Jeanie showed me. Me - Patty and Jeanie should be shot. Mom - They also got me a new skirt. It's leather! Me - You made them buy you a skirt when you work at the shop? Mom - I gave them a discount. Me - Now that's just mean. (WtF?!) Mom - I know. I'm taking up for all your girlfriends. (That's impossible. They loved every minute of it!) Me - Well aren't you just the cutest Mistress. (Did I just say that?) Mom - You know? He wants to call me that. What the hell am I going to do? Me - Mom, you're freaking me out again. (I DID just say that. I need counseling.) Mom - I mean it. We went out last night and he said it twice! Me - Where did you go? Mom - Well, just upstairs. But still. Me - Did you like it? Mom - It made me smile. But I think I was blushing. Me - From that? Why? Mom - Because I didn't know how deep to go. Me - You're losin' me. What? Mom - You know, with my finger. Me - Ummmmm, Uhh. Well. (Why do I bother? I don't *have* to answer the phone.) Mom - Well? I never did that before. I wasn't sure if I would hurt him. Me - Poop finger. (System shock is an ugly thing.) Mom - What? Me - You gave the poor guy the poop finger. Christ. Mom - We're experimenting. Isn't your mother allowed to experiment?? Me - Exactly what did I do to deserve this? Mom - Just tell me how far in I can do that. Me - You really put your finger in his butt, huh? (Nothing surprises me anymore.) Mom - Only a little ways. I was too embarrassed. I wanted to keep going. Me - You won't hurt him. Just buy some Astro Glide. Mom - I brought a case home. Me - Good fuckin' god! You going to put a safety deposit box inside him? (Ok, I lied. Things still surprise me.) Mom - Will you be serious? Me - I am! That's a lot of goop! (And she's bitching about MY sheets?) Mom - I have to get going, he'll be back in a few minutes. Me - Ok ok. He'll know when it's too far. Got a safe word? Mom - It's `Jingle.' Me - Good enough. Love you. Don't call back mkay? Mom - Rotten kid. Me - (Click) Ya know, the main thing that concerns me at this point is- meeting the new "him" in her life.
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| FallenAngel_kessia | Posted: 2004-06-13 08:53 | |
Forum Apprentice United States 116 Posts | LMAO... Brother I feel for you. If me Mum wasn't vanilla, I'd copy these over to her just for the laugh. (Been there myself - but not quite as bad as you) Peace Fallen | |
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| sweetease | Posted: 2004-06-13 08:58 | |
| Forum Regular United States 768 Posts | This has been a lesson on what NOT to talk with my big kid about. roflmao -- "May your heart dance with the joy of each moment" Cherokee | |
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| sweetlilhuniebee | Posted: 2004-06-13 09:22 | |
Forum Regular United States 650 Posts | You know, I went through a similiar situation myself.... My mother one day, while folding her clothes in HER bedroom, politely says... "I was looking for change the other night in your dresser drawer, and happened upon your vibrator. I just want you to know that you should really keep that clean.." After a few minutes in shock I said ok. She felt it necessary to tell me that all women have one, even she has one......and then proceeded to tell me all about her sex life. Including the first time her and her new husband had anal sex!!!! (moritification sets in NOW) Now why is it parents who dont have any clue about anything, feel the need to disclose information like this? I could have gone 3000 years without ever knowing that A. my mother has a viberator, and B. She is having anal sex. (the fact that she started in on the whole, "One day you will find a man to love you, and you will experience these things with him" doesnt help things....if only she knew...) Im not denying my mother any pleasure....but damnit woman keep it to yourself!!! I dont go telling you about how the man I am seeing held me down and scrwed my brains out, I dont need to know about your anal sex adventures!!! Ok, this ended up being a rant. I apologize. hunie | |
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| julietsierra | Posted: 2004-06-13 09:28 | |
Forum Maniac United States 3,150 Posts | I LOVE IT!! See? She IS asking your advice... Buy yourself a case of Zest and talk to her...then race to the shower. lol Just imagine the day you have some lovely little thing tied up to the cross at the club and in walks mom....er...MistressMom. lol juliet | |
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| Livany | Posted: 2004-06-13 09:37 | |
Forum Regular United States 995 Posts | Shifty... Not sure if it helps but I recently also had a very wierd conversation with my mother. She started telling me about /her/ sex life, and what works best for her. This is to her little girl who use to say EWWWW you are kissing! I'm not ready for this whole mother talking to me about her sex life....any more then I'm ready to tell her about mine.
And send her a case of gloves! If she's going to be sticking her finger up some guy's ass you don't want her to be pinching your cheeks with it too. A case of lube...heeheee... Your mother is becoming a monster. | |
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| movingon2008 | Posted: 2004-06-13 09:37 | |
Forum Maniac United States 3,374 Posts | I love Mistress Mom. So baby brother when are you going to tell her that sh has adopted me and give her the link to b.com? bel
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| IdiAminDada | Posted: 2004-06-13 09:54 | |
King of Scotland Uganda 20,614 Posts | Shifty: Me – Ok ok. He’ll know when it’s too far. Got a safe word? Mom – It’s ‘Jingle.’ LMAO - She's a natural! A CASE of lube???? Good for Mistress Momme. -- | |
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| StrikeLord | Posted: 2004-06-13 10:05 | |
| Forum Newbie 93 Posts | You just know these two are going to scene together, eventually. It's inevitable. That will be one helluva forum post. | |
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| MsDiva | Posted: 2004-06-13 10:24 | |
Forum Apprentice United States 135 Posts | the thought of telling my church-every-sunday mother that i'm a Domme gives me nightmares.. but then again she is the one that told me that men liked to be controled, I just don't think she meant for me to take it this far.. its always the parents fault *grin* Edited by - MsDiva on 2004-06-13 10:25:39 | |
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| oasis_909 | Posted: 2004-06-13 10:27 | |
Forum Regular Canada 710 Posts | I don't think offering you a piece of cake will help in this case. But just as julietsierra said...talk to her, answer her questions. A 'case' of lube!! Damn she's getting prepared. Way to go Mom!!
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| RiffRaff | Posted: 2004-06-13 10:30 | |
Forum Maniac Canada 2,175 Posts | revenge is sooooooooooooo sweet
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| MschEveous_One | Posted: 2004-06-13 10:38 | |
| Forum Apprentice Canada 136 Posts | Makes me wonder if she ever said " someday you will have a son just like you"... only now she has become the mom we all appreciate... | |
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| Magdalene | Posted: 2004-06-13 10:40 | |
Forum Maniac United States 3,970 Posts | That is so hilarious! I love hearing your conversations with your mom. Magdalene | |
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| lookin4Dom | Posted: 2004-06-13 10:52 | |
| Forum Apprentice 153 Posts | Ok, now I've got a son that is now 22 and speaking from the moms side, if there is one thing I love to do is to make that boy cringe. It is so much fun to simply gross him out and here im yell at me, "OH MY GOD MOM! STOP PUTTING THOSE HORRIBLE IMAGES IN MY HEAD!" What people seem to be missing here is the joy of being a parent and sweet revenge on the kids. It's a way to get even for those teenage years. Awhile back, my son came over to use my computers. My laptop stays in my bedroom and he needed to use that one. I forgot to remove the ropes from the 4 posts on my bed and was almost imbarresed when I realized this, but got over it quickly when I thought about how mortified he must be sitting in there, knowing what his mommy had been up to the night before. | |
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| outlaw_angelslut | Posted: 2004-06-13 11:03 | |
Forum Initiate Iraq 44 Posts | ShiFty: In my very best Eric Cartman Voice: God I only wish my mom and i could have these conversations. The only she keeps bringing up is how at age 14 i ran away with the carnival LOL....and then we go from there - my life reads like a book that noone would believe LOL.... Perhaps when right before the early stages of Alzheimer's set in, i will let her in on my years as a slave....then she can bring those up every now and then and ask if i really told her that.... ShiFty, i gotta tell ya....this brings tears to my eyes with every word - and it does help me greatly....tears of JOY sheer and utter madness - makes my life it does. And i am truly sorry that so many of us derive great pleasure from some of your discomfort....but you have to admit, if it were You looking in from the outside, you would be laughing your ass off TOO!!!
-- ~there IS truly COMFORT in CHAOS~(experience as an trauma RN)~ ~*A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"*~ ~angel~ | |
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