Mistress Ariachne's BDSM Workshop

Mistress Ariachne's BDSM Workshop: Using Your Hands as a BDSM Tool

by mistress ariachne

Published 2002-04-12

How many of you have been to a play party or club and watched in awe as a top unpacks his or her toy bag? Out come multiple floggers, singletails, paddles, canes, riding crops, clamps, cockrings, a violet wand--and some things for which you don't even want to know their uses. I myself admit to being a "gear head" top--I always seem to find something to blow money on at the leather store. Despite my prodigious toy collection, however, I find myself using one inexpensive toy far more than the rest--my hands. This column will take you beyond gear lust and show you the wonderful tortures you can perform using just your hands and some imagination.

I apologize if some of this seems obvious--the funny thing is how little I see it in public play. I am certainly not denying the power of the whip, paddle, what-have-you to play on the fetishes of the submissive--but I have found that in my sessions, extensive skin-on-skin touch can create some of the hottest sensations. As with all parts of life, variety can be a heady spice.

The soft touch

Do you usually begin your scenes by caning your submissive? While the answer is sometimes yes, my more typical scene begins with lighter play. This is especially important for newbies--light caresses while he or she is tied up may be as far as you want to go in a first scene. You can buy oodles of feathers, silk, and other sensation toys, but in many cases your own caresses work far better. You can switch from stroking to light tapping or running your fingernails lightly over the skin. We can all attest to the power of the light human touch on the cock, balls, labia or clitoris, as well as gentle rubbing on the nipples. This is a great way to tease as well.

Scratching

Scratching a man's back during heterosexual intercourse is as close as many folks get to BDSM. Scratching can be a very erotic sensation, depending on the individual. I usually start out lightly and then go for harder scratching. If you want to add scratching to your scene, make sure your fingernails are free from jagged edges. Also remember that some people mark more easily, so what seems like light scratching to you may indeed leave marks. I actually clean my fingernails with alcohol before my scratching scenes. I have done some deep, bloody scratching with hardcore masochists. This kind of torture is generally more effective if you scratch quickly rather than slowly. As common sense would dictate, scratch more lightly on the genitals.

Slapping

"Slapping" in this sense, means any hitting with the open hand. The most common form is, of course, ass slapping, better known as spanking. Many of my submissives are "OTK" (over-the-knee spanking) enthusiasts. I always start a spanking session with my bare hand. You may decide to switch to a paddle, hairbrush, or strap later to avoid hurting your hand.

Face-slapping is powerful psychological tool. Never slap someone's face unless this has been specifically agreed on beforehand--the emotional connotations can wreak havoc on a submissive in some very unerotic ways. Face slapping is often combined with verbal humiliation. Remember that face slapping doesn't need to be very hard to be effective, since its main effect is psychological. I usually hold the person's head in my other hand to prevent whiplash.

I often include cock and ball slapping in my CBT sessions. CBT slapping can be done lightly for the terror effect, or harder for actual torture. If I have someone against my St. Andrew's cross for a whipping, I'll often reach around and slap his cock occasionally. The sight of it bobbing about after my slap is quite satisfying. I have also spanked my female submissives on their cunts or clitorises. This can actually be a highly erotic sensation--I've had a female bottom cum from my spanking her through leather shorts.

Pinching

Many of us already are adept at pinching when it comes to nipples. I like to pinch quickly and lightly on both nipples, then throw in a hard pinch. Another torture technique is to hold the nipples very lightly in a pinch and gradually increase your pressure. A pinch combined with a twist is also a highly effective torture technique.

The balls can respond well to pinching. I also use my hands on the cock and balls much as I would use a cock ring or weight device. You can pull the balls away from the cock, push them around the sides of the cock, etc. Just be careful not to twist them. You can also pinch and pull labia or (for intense sensation) the clitoral hood.

Flicking

Another fun trick is to use a "flicking" motion to snap the top of your fingernail against your submissive's skin. This can be a surprisingly intense sensation on the nipples and genitalia.

Once you start exploring the deft use of your hands and fingers to inflict torture on your submissives, you'll find new techniques are limited only by your imagination. By all means, continue using your toy bag to its fullest--but don't forget the potential of a wickedly caring pair of hands.

 

If you have specific comments, ideas or questions please email them to me at mistress_ariachne@bondage.com.

Mistress Ariachne's BDSM Workshop
7/22/2008: Turning Pro!
6/19/2008: Singletail Construction and Buying Tips
5/31/2008: Coping With Post-Play "Drop"
5/17/2008: DIY BDSM! Get Cuffed!
2/3/2008: Anatomy of a Medical Scene
 

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