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Lotusflower1 57F
302 posts
8/16/2018 4:37 pm
Trust and handing over control........


Trust is built and maintained by many small actions over time.

Trust is not a matter of technique, tricks, or tools but of character.

We are trusted because of our way of being, not because of our polished exteriors or our expertly crafted communications.

Here are some quotes that may be useful to consider as you think about the role of trust in your life and leadership:

1. "It takes 20 to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it." --Warren Buffett

2. "We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk." --Thomas Moore

3. "The glue that holds all relationships together--including the relationship between the leader and the led--is trust, and trust is based on integrity." --Brian Tracy

4. "Trust is like blood pressure. It's silent, vital to good health, and if abused it can be deadly." --Frank Sonnenberg, author of Follow Your Conscience

5. "Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

6. "Better to trust the man who is frequently in error than the one who is never in doubt." --Eric Sevareid

7. "It takes two to do the trust tango--the one who risks (the trustor) and the one who is trustworthy (the trustee); each must their role. --Charles H. Green, The Trusted Advisor

8. "The leaders who work most effectively, it seems to me, never say 'I.' And that's not because they have trained themselves not to say 'I.' They don't think 'I.' They think 'we'; they think 'team.' They understand their job to be to make the team function. They accept responsibility and don't sidestep it, but 'we' gets the credit.... This is what creates trust, what enables you to get the task done." --Peter Drucker, author of Managing for the Future

9. "Trust is built when someone is vulnerable and not taken advantage of." --Bob Vanourek, author of Triple Crown Leadership

10. "The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." --Ernest Hemingway

11. "If you don't have trust inside your company, then you can't transfer it to your customers." --Roger Staubach

12. "The people when rightly and fully trusted will return the trust." --Abraham Lincoln

13. "Trust is the lubrication that makes it possible for organizations to work." --Warren Bennis

14. "Trust, but verify." --Ronald Reagan

15."Trust each other again and again. When the trust level gets high enough, people transcend apparent limits, discovering new and awesome abilities of which they were previously unaware." --David Armistead

16."People follow leaders by choice. Without trust, at best you get compliance." --Jesse Lyn Stoner, author of Full Steam Ahead

17. "When people honor each other, there is a trust established that leads to synergy, interdependence, and deep respect. Both parties make decisions and choices based on what is right, what is best, what is valued most highly." --Blaine Lee

18. "When a gifted team dedicates itself to unselfish trust and combines instinct with boldness and effort, it is ready to climb." --Patanjali

19. "He who does not trust enough will not be trusted." --Lao Tzu

20. "Leadership requires five ingredients--brains, energy, determination, trust, and ethics. The key challenges today are in terms of the last two--trust and ethics." --Fred Hilmer

21. "You must trust and believe in people, or life becomes impossible." --Anton Chekhov

22. "Wise men put their trust in ideas and not in circumstances." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

23. "Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him." --Booker T. Washington

24. "It is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest, that holds human associations together." --H. L. Mencken

25. "When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective." --Stephen R. Covey

26. "To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved." --George MacDonald

27. "When mistrust comes in, loves goes out." --Irish proverb

28."Trust is built with consistency." --Lincoln Chafee

29. "Learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks." --Isaac Watts

30. "Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters." --Albert Einstein

The most precious thing in this world is trust. It can take to earn and only a matter of seconds to lose, so it's important to keep trust at the forefront of everything you do. It can make a big difference in your life and leadership.

Start today with a concerted effort to cultivate, earn, and build trust, and discover the difference it can make.

{BlogLotusflower1}

The very REAL Geeijane so f**k off Demi


Nsa2tie 68M  
640 posts
8/16/2018 5:27 pm

What a great list. I particularly liked the Hemingway quote (no 10) and the one by Sonnenberg about blood pressure (no 4).

In my more cynical moments, I reach for Groucho Marx, and "There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook".


Lotusflower1 replies on 8/16/2018 5:41 pm:
SO simplistic yet SO effective huh...Good choices by the way Kind Regards from Heidi-Lou

Lotusflower1 57F
442 posts
8/16/2018 5:49 pm

i think at times overthinking is the worst thing in every scenario in life..it somehow creates an added chaos..a much unnecessary chaos...and then things become lost in translation...I am an ovethinker and it's a real burden...If i could be the opposite i would without batting an eyelid...but it seems to be a fundamental part of me now so i have had to learn to be it's friend for fear of it getting the best of me continuously lol....Today alonei have emailed the Whitehouse and the Kremlin with concerns over the Iran arms issue...every woman in my life have been to have their nails and hair done...so is it really any wonder why i wish i was someone else most of the time ........

The very REAL Geeijane so f**k off Demi


obeonecanobeyou 63M

8/16/2018 5:57 pm

Lotusflower1, may i so say how Lovely You Look Directly above me, thank You so much Miss, i am honored to be down here for you.
and thank You for the read so much.


Lotusflower1 replies on 8/16/2018 6:51 pm:
What a beautiful and wonderful thing to say...However please don't sell yourself short...I would be happy if you were above me..well you will be NOW lol You should put a photo of yourself on here..be happy being you and know that you deserve no less than anyone else on Alt happiness wise...So thank you but there is no need to feel honored to be under a comment on one of my posts...it upsets me that you feel that THAT is a privilige...It is not...Your happiness and place on this site is no less than mine or anyone else..So no more thank yous' necessary or needed...I am just happy that you enjoyed the content Respect and regards from Heidi-Lou

1uncommondom 77M

8/16/2018 6:49 pm

Sometimes it's as simple
as just enjoying the ride
without over-analyzing it.


Lotusflower1 replies on 8/16/2018 6:57 pm:
I agree with you wholeheartedly....It can really make things even more complicated lol...but then i pride myself on my problem solving skills so perhaps i am just creating challenges for myself...and glutton for punishment

brandygirasol 54T
9365 posts
8/17/2018 7:07 am

GREAT to see you back!!! ... Reagan said it best TRUST BUT VERIFY


Lotusflower1 replies on 8/17/2018 5:21 pm:
Thank you kindly lovely lady

slaaf85_91 61M
447 posts
8/17/2018 8:40 am

I never thought much about trust: if you apply the philosophy described in most of these 30 points, I don't think you will ever get easily to share BDSM lifestyle with anyone. As homosexual submissive I am used to meet other men that I do not know who just happen to be in the gay club/sauna. Physical contacts are very straight forward, if someone touches me to show interest it requires blind confidence to accept, no trust. My BDSM contacts did not involve emotional relationships and were pure physical. And yes I sometimes regretted when I felt abused in the worst sense, but without that risk I don't think I would ever got exposed to BDSM.

Being different from the majority of people as homosexual my pleasure is in being used by others...


Lotusflower1 replies on 8/17/2018 5:57 pm:
THAT is quite heart crushing to hear...because i know had i experienced the same as you i would definitely feel so used and abused...and more importantly it sounds like all of your experiences have been meaningless...and in my book meaningless is pointless...i cannot help but wonder that it's REALLY time..whether you are a homosexual submissive or not...that you need to regain some control here..life is not ALL about bdsm and my life sure as shit will never be based on THAT ALONE...I don't crave it and due to my background i am naturally assertive and in control in every day life..I think you are not getting the full attention and affection to certain degree by a dominant other...afterall in the *bigger picture* there is a level of closeness...and intimacy...and i cannot even bare the idea that you just seem to be snatched for *quickies* which are bound to leave you feeling like you have not just had a wonderful experience...It's imperative to become what you need to be so you cannot be someones rushed cheap thrill in your NON bdsm mode...We are ALL people afterall..makes my piss boil when some DOM has a hissy fit like a petulant toddler because you DARED to type his name without starting with a capital letter...f**k that bollocks..they need to get a grip and realise that they are no better than anyone else on Alt..the main reason everyone is on here is to find someone and something that can make their lives a happier one...anyone who Doms you thoughtlessly and discards you after they've had their piece of you badly should be totally ashamed of themselves...and if you need me to be in your corner then you know where i am..this site has an element of utter bullshit..because of little men in black who have got a tad too big for their boots and need to ammend their mindset...NEVER FORGET that there would be NO Doms if there weren't willing and committed submissives like yourself...so in a way you need to SHOW them who's boss and TELL them what you expect from them...this is not a ONE way street and when it's a non level playing field..it's quite simple..TELL THEM YOU AINT F***ING PLAYING...that should make them think twice and hopefully come back to YOU with their tails between their legs and realise that they couldn't be THEM if it wasn't for individuals like YOU..Being submissive doesn't mean that you deserve no respect..and made to feel needed and wanted...I know that submissives like you crave to be humiliated and illtreated...it's YOUR kink...but CHOOSE WHO gets to do that for you..don't just accept what's on offer when all there is on offer is going to leave you feeling like dogshit...It has to be you as a regular non bdsm person that has to be confident and strong enough to make good decisions that will result in you feeling that every box has been ticked with a potential DOM....Submissives have the same if not MORE power and say than a Dom-Domme...NEVER forget that...If you are going to continue down the same path and be left feeling like a worthless disregarded *thing*...then your future is going to be an empty and loveless one...and NOONE wants that for themselves..and i don't want that for YOU...so time to *grow a pair* dude..your days of being abused and used HAVE to stop right NOW..your voice and what you have to say is no less important than any Dom or Domme....at the end of the day we are actually EQUAL...just have different roles and labels..I WANT HAPPY things for you from here on in...so NO MORE just accepting what's *there*..you have a voice..you have words..and you have FEELINGS (which is a swear word on here but that's so wrong !!! Take control...which is not what a submissive does naturally and instinctively..but just forget about the submissive part of you and during that time set some ground rules...rules that mean YOU feeling whole and satisfied...YOUR HAPPINESS and well being is as important as EVERY other human being on Alt....Be strong...Be assertive as you make these new rules and *lines in the sand*....and i am hoping this will be a totally new and much improved life as a submissive for you..and i will help guide and advise whenever you need it....so DO IT I know you can..you just need to toughen up a tad..Hug from Heidi-Lou

Tron663 60M

8/17/2018 11:36 am

Yes trust is very easy to give but very hard to earn and many on here do not realize this


Lotusflower1 replies on 8/17/2018 6:35 pm:
I agree...i think many need to be re-educated when it comes to this...and i will keep posting about it until the penny finally drops lol Heidi-Lou

DancingDom 74M
22476 posts
8/18/2018 1:34 pm

All of that is true. I can't tell you how many people I have encountered in my life, that I would not trust to order me dinner. Trust is simply paramount in a relationships, kinky or otherwise.

"One Big Sky Covers Us All Equally"


Lotusflower1 replies on 8/18/2018 7:13 pm:
Absolutely DD....I can't imagine anyone not trusting you tho...you are such a sweet and genuine guy


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