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Blonde Guys 12/31/2006
Why do blonde chicks have cum in the navals? Because blonde
guys arent that bright either!!
1 Comments,
330 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score
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Gay Bar 12/31/2006
Two cocks walking down the street, they pass a gay bar, one
cock says to the other cock, I'm going inside to get
shit faced.
1 Comments,
248 Views,
10 Votes
,2.39 Score
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blonde wives 12/28/2006
3 guys sat around telling each other how boneheaded their
blonde partners were. The first guy says my wife is so stupid
she bought a car the other day but cant drive and doesnt even
have a lisence. The second guy says my wife went out and bought
200 lbs of fresh meat on sale and we dont even have a freezer.
The third guy says, look my wife is so obtuse that she recently
went to the greek ...
1 Comments,
121 Views,
9 Votes
,4.28 Score
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2 nuns 12/10/2006
2 nuns are walking down a country road, a lorry approaches
them and two lorry drivers trick the nuns into getting into
their vehicle.
after about 2 miles they pull into a secluded place and the
2 guys start to undress and 'abuse' the nuns. Both
men are penetrating the nuns against their will.
One nun holds her hands together and starts to pray '
forgive them father ...
0 Comments,
159 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
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Women's and Men's English 11/19/2006
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be
obvious
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to do that
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a ...
1 Comments,
221 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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Texas Chili 11/15/2006
For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true
this is. They actually have a Chili cook-off about the time
the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the
parking lot at the Astrodome. The notes are from an inexperienced
chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the
East Coast:
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as
a judge at a ...
2 Comments,
151 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score
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got a cigarette? 11/6/2006
Does anyone know why vampires NEVER, EVER smoke?
They just can't handle the coffin fits!
1 Comments,
86 Views,
66 Votes
,0.47 Score
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Waitress 11/3/2006
The extremely well-built waitress in the ssmall town excited
the male travelers interest so he tried to arrange to see
her later that evening. But she turned him down. "Look"
he said, hoarsely, "You're one of the most desirable
women I've ever laid eyes on and I want to take you out,
because I want to have something quite personal to remember
you by."
"Well, I suppose I could ...
1 Comments,
140 Views,
10 Votes
,4.98 Score
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A Stupid Person Is... 11/2/2006
* A few clowns short of a circus...
<br>
* A few fries short of a Happy Meal...
<br>
* An experiment in artificial stupidity...
<br>
* A few beers short of a six pack...
<br>
* Dumber than a box of hair...
<br>
* A few peas short of a casserole....
<br>
* Doesn't have all his Cornflakes in one box...
<br>
* ...
0 Comments,
52 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Wisdom of women.... 11/2/2006
Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling
around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again.
<br>
Q: How can you tell if a man is well-hung?
A: When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck
and the noose.
<br>
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they are practicing to be men.
<br>
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a ...
2 Comments,
445 Views,
31 Votes
,4.68 Score
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The Lightbulb jokes..... 10/30/2006
How many beatnik existentialist poets does it take to screw
in a lightbulb at the coffeehouse?
Two. One to do the job while the other observes how the lightbulb
itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective
reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching
out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
How many dyslexics take it does to bulb
a ...
1 Comments,
326 Views,
12 Votes
,3.15 Score
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Well that would be telling! 10/11/2006
An english man an I rish man and an american are at the top
of the empire styates building, after a long day drinking.
The american stabds up and proclaims
<br>
"Do you know that this american beer is soo good that
you could jump off here and fly around in in a big circle and
land again safely?"
<br>
The Irishman say's "I don't believe you.
Proove it!"
<br> ...
1 Comments,
90 Views,
18 Votes
,5.72 Score
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Rascist jokes - you may be offended 10/6/2006
Q: What's the difference between a black man and a Pizza?
<br>
A: A Pizza can feed a family of four
0 Comments,
115 Views,
8 Votes
,1.86 Score
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Husband and Wife 10/3/2006
She: oh, come on.
He: Leave me alone, I'm tired.
She: It won't take long.
He: I won't be able to sleep afterwords.
She: because I'm hot.
He: you get hot at the damnest time.
She: if you love me, I wouldn't have to ask.
He: I love you but let's let it go for the night.
She: you don't love me.
He: all right I'll do it.
She: What's the matter.
He: For heavens sake look for it. ...
1 Comments,
198 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score
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Two hippos 9/24/2006
There are these two hippos swimming in a river in Africa.
They surface and start wading. Their eyes are just above
the water. They are looking at the jungle. They see the lush
green trees. The various fauna and animal life teaming
throughout the riverbank. The heat is intense. You can
almost see it. There is a haze all over. Steam is even rising
a little from the river itself. the humidity ...
3 Comments,
142 Views,
5 Votes
,1.19 Score
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life in Alaska 9/16/2006
Party Hardy Alaska
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally
sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land
in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman
once a week and gets groceries once a month.
Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months
or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door.
He opens ...
1 Comments,
125 Views,
10 Votes
,4.98 Score
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riddle 7/28/2006
Q: what does a snail say while riding on the back of a turtle?
A: wheeeeeeeee!
0 Comments,
233 Views,
8 Votes
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Cammel Fuck 6/12/2006
At
a remote out post in Afganistan, a group of 800 Soldiers
was posted there. The entire camp were Males. A new Commander
came on to the scene and inspected the camp, when he came
across a Cammel tied to a tent.
He asks "What is that Cammel doing there?"
A Soldier replied "Well sir since we are an entire
camp of males, It gets pretty lonley ...
1 Comments,
420 Views,
18 Votes
,4.90 Score
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What starts with F and ends with K ! 4/6/2006
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble
with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry,
what's your problem?" <br>
<br>
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade.
My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she
is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" <br>
<br>
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the ...
0 Comments,
452 Views,
33 Votes
,8.10 Score
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Goin' to Town 4/4/2006
One day the sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town
with nothing on except his gun belt and his boots.
The sheriff says "Billy-Bob, what the hell are you
doing walking around town dressed like that?"
Billy-Bob replies "Well sheriff, it's a long
story!"
The sheriff says he isn't in a hurry and that Billy-Bob
should tell the story.
Billy-Bob continues ...
3 Comments,
538 Views,
26 Votes
,5.07 Score
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Amazon Sex 3/27/2006
A scientist went into the Amazon to study the people and
the herbs they used to heal. Once there he was placed with
the young men across the river from the main village. He
must first be purified by not having sex with the women of
the village.
After a week, He started to have the craving for sex.
Curious he asked one of the older natives, "What do
I do to release the urge and make ...
1 Comments,
349 Views,
19 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Beating The Speeding Ticket 3/1/2006
A middle aged woman is stopped for speeding one evening.
The policeman asks her for her license. She replies "
I lost it 2 months ago for DWI". The cop then asks for
her registration, to which she replies " I do not have
it, I stole this car from an acquaintenance." The
cop asks who owns the car and where is the owner. She replies
" I killed him; chopped up his body; and put it in the ...
0 Comments,
397 Views,
20 Votes
,5.81 Score
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bathing a cat 2/13/2006
How to wash the cat::
thoroughly clean the toilet.
add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water,
and have both lids lifted.
obtain the cat and soothe it while you carry it towards the
bathroom.
in one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close
both lids(you may need to stand on the lid so that it cannot
escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close ...
0 Comments,
379 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
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Take off WHAT????? 2/4/2006
The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice.
<br>
He had always hated Math, so, he asked his secretary for
some mathematical help.
<br>
He asked her, "If I were to give you $20, 000 minus
14%, how much would you take off?"
<br>
<br>
She replied, "Everything but my earrings."
0 Comments,
264 Views,
9 Votes
,3.64 Score
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30th Birthday 2/3/2006
It was my 30th birthday and I wasn't feeling too great
when I woke up that morning.
<br>
I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant
and say "Happy Birthday" and probably have
a present for me.
<br>
She didn't even say "Good Morning, " let
alone "Happy Birthday."
<br>
I figured, "Well, that's wives for you. The
will remember." The came ...
0 Comments,
196 Views,
13 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Super Bad Drunk 1/31/2006
Two men are sitting in a bar atop a skyscraper both hammering
away at their drinks. Finally the first drunk says to the
other, "So what problem brings you here" The
second drunk explains that his wife has left him and that
he doesn't get any respect. The first drunk says, "Pal
you got it easy. I am the greatest architect in the world,
designed and contructed this very building and ...
0 Comments,
246 Views,
14 Votes
,2.02 Score
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Cartoon Mouse 1/29/2006
A well known cartoon mouse walks into the head of the studio's
office with his head hanging low. moments later the studio
boss rushes out of the office with a look of panic on his face
and begins barking orders to the studio secreteries. A
week comes and goes and the mouse is summoned back to the
studio head's ofice and asked to sit down. "Micky"
begins the studio head, "I appreciate you ...
1 Comments,
215 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score
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The Devil 1/19/2006
Three men die and go to hell..the devil says to them now if
you can run up these 100 steps before i press this button
and I will allow you to go into heaven..if not i get to do the
worst thing imagineable. So the guys agreed to try.
<br>
The first guy starts running gets to 91..92..93..94 and
boom the devil presses the button and the guy comes sliding
down. The devil says "what ...
0 Comments,
229 Views,
20 Votes
,4.02 Score
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The Penguin and the Mechanic 1/8/2006
A penguin had to take his car for engine repair. The mechanic
told the penguin to leave his car with him for about two hours,
to find out whats wrong. The penguin goes across the street
to a grocery store, climbs into a freezer and fills up on
vanilla ice cream. When the two hours was up the penguin
ges back to the garage to find out what happened to his car.
When the penguin enters the ...
1 Comments,
97 Views,
82 Votes
,6.41 Score
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Welcome to mc hell 1/6/2006
Welcome to Mc Hell! How may I torture you today? Ways to torture
yourself and the customers while working at Mc Donald's
<br>
While working one morning at my fabulous job *smirk* with
a new manager on duty, some one made the comment "welcome
to Mc Hell". This got me to thinking; what could we
do to make our jobs all that much more enjoyable? Hope you
enjoy and think of this the next ...
1 Comments,
512 Views,
11 Votes
,2.05 Score
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